Canada

I met with an open mind.
Packed my bags, left this
country behind. I didn't
know what to expect, would
I say hello or mourn with
all my regrets. He made it.
He lives with a new agenda.
The doctors cut, removed
and stitched.. he's good
to go...home. He did, I
met him and his wife..
the whole family are
so nice. I was worried
I wouldn't fit in.. I
don't know why, I'm
crazy, they are too..
I discovered some
amazing people, far
away in the land of
Saskatoon's. We ate
we slept, we got
given around. New
relatives to find.
Generosity, love
and care to name
but a few .
I had a ball
I had a blast, I
wish I could've
stayed, I didn't
want to come back.
Jet lag is a bitch,
still not sure how
or where I am..
leaving was traumatic
I came away sad.
This new family,
my new sisters
in Ca... they're
only an E-mail away.
I will return in two
years time.. I
shouldn't wish my life
away, I wish it was
next week. We phone,
we talk.. we speak.
I got me new family,
friends that go all
the way. Friends
who I consider
with all my every-
things..true. I
love them all..
each and every one
of you.

In Love

OK people I am back. This is short because I am not yet out of jet lag land. I Have just found a new family. I would move to Manitoba tomorrow if I had the chance. I have had a surreal holiday, a fabulous holiday.. I have and will enlighten you next time I write.. like I said earlier when I have got back to UK time. I fell in love with Canada, three weeks wasn't enough, I will be going back in two years time.. I just wish I hadn't left. I met my husbands family, I didn't know any of them. By the time I was not ready to fly home I had fell in love with each and every one of them. I have another dad, a new sister, well three new sisters. BUT I have to go now, I have to food shop. I haven't cooked for nearly a month. YEAH!! REALITY kicks my butt. ;)

Home Sweet Home

Home is where the heart is.
Where memories are cooked
flowers are laid, smiles
and laughter come gift
wrapped, inlaid with
gilt edges, paved with
love. Dusty cobwebs.
Heat rising, dishes
laiden with food fit
for a king, children
crying, babies muzzle
new teeth biting, toys
of joy bursting into
life..childhood growing
adult hood beckons soon.
Verbal abuse, character
playing, all good fun,
and when the day is over
all chores completed
and done, sit back a
while, smile.. for
hard work though it
may be.. this is what
we planned, you .. me
and dependent..make
three. Education..
recreation..blood
sweat n tears, they
leave us in ore,
we created this
tiny adult, girl
then boy. Brother
and sister full
of untold joys.
Home is where
it all started,
where the plans
were drawn up.
This is it, my
life so far..
I am in love
with it, me.
As for the
girl n boy,
adults now
they be. Own
lives to lead.
Education
eventually
paid off, a
Lawyer she now
be.. all grown
up.. am I so
god damn proud.
Son has a talent
for making
things out of
wood, I knew
he wood!! Upon
the farm is his
real time job,
getting up early
coming home
covered in !!!!
But they all have
their own ideas
of what life is
all about, or so
they think. They
have their
moments of
lettin off
steam, kicking
screaming n
shout. But when
all is said and
done, there's
the memories,
the day they
first took that
step, from then
on I've never
looked back. This
is how I live my
life, two kids,
now adults with
a husband in tow.
I'm happy for what
I give in life,
I have a fabulous
husband, I love
my life. Home
is where the
heart is.

Coming Out

There comes a time in every one's life when we all have to do some thing that takes a lot of 'balls.' Last week I did just that I came out to my family!!.................... The most nerve wrecking moment EVER!!!! I had decided what I was going to say... chose my words very carefully..... paced up and down the lounge carpet, palms sweaty. When the actual moment arrived-stuttering....... I opened my mouth.... and nothing came out that made any sense; but after a sharp intake of breath... I started again-and it flowed. My family were quiet, listening as I told them what I had practiced. To my 'amazement' ........... and 'RELIEF'... they had known for quite a long time. I felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from my shoulders. So........ no more pretending, no more excuses as to where I go of an evening or weekend. I can now be 'ME' and the family except me for that. I wish every thing in life could be so easy. I'd wanted to .. on several occasions to say some thing, some how explain why I was going out, where I'd been and who with; but I always thought it was my business and no one Else's. The new love in my life is 'PROUD' of me, but says she couldn't do what I have achieved, not at her place of work or to her family, only to her closest of friends. I too am out at work. Some people criticise me for who I am, they are not my 'true' friends. My real friends support me, listen when I have problems, they do not condone who I am, live and let live is my motto.