Saturday, 29 October 2011

Shitty


Same old
same old
same old.
Nothings
changed,
can't
get my
head
around
this
feeling
of lost.
Stopped
lookin
in the
mirror,
boring
same old
person
starin
back at
me. Have
given up
trying
to figure
out who
it is.
Sportin
the latest
in tubular
bandage,
same old
excuse..
aggravated
muscle..
easier to
digest for
the fuck wits
I have to
acknowledge
at the
Tampax
factory..
I put the
strings in
Tampax for
a job, pays
not bad,
buys me
petrol for
me bike.
Curled up
on sofa
today..
heater on,
tv too..
feelin tired
what's new?!
Autumn leaves
are turning,
Halloween is
here again.
Not got no
treats in..
nor tricks.
Can't even
be bothered
for that..
Soon be time
for fireworks
as we light
the fuses
that give
loud bangs.
I'm not
feelin to
good of
late.
Constant
bad neck
stress I
so believe.
F***ing
great!!!
My mentor
and a couple
of close
friends
say I'm
going about
it the right
way. Enough
is enough,
I have my
own demons
to deal with,
have no room
in my head
for anyone
else right
now.. I'm
no bitch,
certainly
no cow!
I won't
be here
for a
while..
mobile's
constantly
turned off!
Don't
answer the
phone..
Keep myself
to myself.
Christmas aint
far behind,
I may not
bother if
ya don't mind!
Won't apologise
done nothin
wrong.. same
old same old,
same old...
Goodbyes.

Monday, 17 October 2011

Drownin

Time for me.
Stop giving
start lovin
myself. Those
are the words
from my mentor.
This is very
difficult for
me. I'm a fish
sign..at this
moment in time
I'm a fish that
feels like she
is drowning.
For anyone
who knows me,
they will
understand,
and if ya
don't then
tough shit.
Shit can be
a good thing,
cow shit on
ya roses..
shit on the
souls of ya
shoes...not
so good..I
aint talkin
with no one
or is proper
English..I
aint talkin
to anyone
right now.
I gotta give
me time..
could take
weeks.....
months....
years....!!
I can't rush
how I feel..
but since I
gave up talkin
to anyone I
feel shit loads
better... it's
a long story.
Aint goin there.
It would mean
talkin 'n' like
I said..I'm done
talkin.. gotta
have ME time.
I come first,
not second
or last. I have
to think about
what I want..
need..and until
I've figured
that out... I
aint by no
means talkin!
Textin! E mailin
nothin...!!
So if ya
feelin left
out.. just
try n imagine
how I feel..
I just gotta
figure out
now how I
should feel.
Apart from
a drowning
fish outta
water..!!!!
Ooooow...I
just wanna
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM!!!!!

Sunday, 16 October 2011

~ 1 ~

I quit.
I did..
One
year
today
I quit.
No more
fags,
bad
breath
dirty
teeth,
brown
skin,
feelin
outta
breath
when
doin
menial
things.
Runnin,
rushin,
I did
it ...
one
year
today.
I feel
great.
I no
longer
smoke.
My
lungs
are
clear.
My
wallet
is
fuller.
Cold
turkey
worked
for
me...
did I
tell
you?
I
quit
one
year
ago
today!