Crushed

Today I did some thing to be proud of...
so why don't I feel this? I found a piece
of broken glass,sat down, held it in my
hand.. looked at it in great detail..
but I couldn't find the nerve to cut.
But I couldn't find the 'nerve' to cut.
Have I not learned anything? Do I not
consider myself a stronger being?
Yesterday I did the very same thing.
I too, hesitated, put it in the bin.
You see I do have an inner strength,
I can get through this blip in my
life. I have a husband who at this
moment in time is as about as useless
as a chocolate teapot. I had a little
chat.... a few words were spoken and I
called him a 'twat.' I've had plenty of
red wine. I feeling rather unsteady.
I have, and had a razor blade
standing by. I haven't actually
got the balls to do anything that
stupid............yet.... but
for tonight I think it's time
to pass out, the wine has made
me tired, I've had a busy shit
day. I'm hoping that tomorrow
will feel better than today.
I really have lost my
ability to write anything
that holds that sexy bling.
I do apologise for what
I write.. I'd like to wish
you all a very 'goodnight.'