Disaster

Today I went to work whilst wearing
a tubular bandage on my lower left arm.
Not a soul asked me what I'd done..
until after lunch when I realised that
the world was now actually awake!
The main question was..'what had I
done to my arm?' I replied 'whilst
climbing the bloody damson tree
I slipped and caught my arm on
the rough bark.. it's nothing
really.' That appeared to go
down quite well actually...
No I'm not lying, well in a
way I guess I am. Please don't
judge me either, I had enough
of that with my first session
with the not so delightful
councilor a couple of weeks
ago, who in her infinite
wisdom decided to label me
butch due to the way I dress.
I phoned the doctor's today
and cancelled my next three
appointments with the so called
councilor, I don't think we would
have got on terribly well..
So for now I'm back to the
beginning.. I'm now quiet again,
don't wish to talk to no one..
I actually thought I was
getting some where.. still
not sure if this world is
for me!! Still takin my
meds.. still not drinkin
alcohol. Treated myself
to a packet of brand new
razor blades the other
day... Sat really quite
quietly on my bed yesterday..
steady hand, not a note
of panic anywhere..
I was in total control,
and the first sign of
blood made me smile..
it didn't hurt.. I had
prepared coverage and
tissues at the ready.
Be prepared is my motto.
So I fell out of the
bloody damson tree..
easy really when ya
think about it. This is
my business,
I have come to judge
no one, so no-one
should judge me...
I feel free when
I cut myself...
end of!