Laugh ............ please?

Saturday was funny. The weather was good for a bike ride, I excelled my speed ability. Third gear and 'wo....' 100 mph. It's strange but fast as I am travelling, it feels like I'm hardly moving! I'd grabbed a cup of tea from mucky D's. (MacDonald's) took a seat on the openly graffiti wooden benches.. next to a couple of young lasses. They were strokin a Staffy (dog). Apparently some guy had asked them if they'd look after him whilst he went into a shop. They agreed. The dog looked old, grey whiskers!! We told her we'd look after the dog and await for his master to return. In the meantime several people wanders by giving their approval with added
'Aw's' and 'ooooows!' Smilin at us as though we'd (in full bike gear) were the proud owners of this magnificent pooch! (like we were on bikes??!) One young kid ( roughly 7 or 8 ) came round the corner wearin plastic fangs and growling at the dog, who did't bat an eye lid or shake a hair, unbeturd by the lads behaviour. I looked at the boy and said 'Nice teeth son, where'd ya get the mask?' He looked on in shock at me... he wasn't wearing a mask!! Unfortunately his mother wasn't either ( god, she was one ugly bitch!!). We eventually met the dog's owner. A man who lived on a canal boat. His faithful dog was called 'Cam' who adored being centre of attention, but no one could comfort him while his owner was absent. The disturbing noise the animal made was quite weird.. like a quivering noise, his lips shakin, bless him, his daddy was on his way. We had no idea what his owner looked like but we knew Cam would now. Animals are so clever like that. Saturday was a day for ridin my bike. I saw many bikes out. We do celebrate Halloween. It originated from Ireland. Where upon they used to use turnips, hollow them out as you do pumpkins. Halloween represented the end of summer and the beginning of winter, the fine line between the both, the Irish believed they could see and hear the dead who hadn't quite made it to the other side. Just a snippet of information for you all.. eventually pumpkins were brought in. Thus the market for these amazin versatile vegetables were introduced.. 'Wallah!'

' Oscar '

I checked my watch, 6.47pm. I was early. I drove into a lay by just around the corner. Desperate for the toilet, I pulled the hand break on, checked for traffic, slid quickly from the car.. pulling my jeans down, my thong to one side. The jet of hot urine hit the tarmac with such force it splashed my trouser leg. I panicked, trying to wipe it on the grass. The dark winter night stung my lungs as the frost settled on the ground. All was still. I could hear my heart beating in my ears, deafening me, not wanting to arrive early, not wanting to be late. I pulled the car to a stop, the time just chumming 6.59pm; My heart missed a beat as I locked the door. Rushing up the drive I made that one final check, 7pm, I pressed the door bell, and waited. Taking one very deep breathe, the door opened and I walked in.
Standing in the hall way, I stripped and awaited my instructions. I was to strip off leave my clothes in a neat pile under the hall way seat and make my way into the lounge. I was not alone, sitting beside the fire place was a small fat man wearing nothing but nipple clamps, he didn't utter a word.. kneeling down on his hind legs with his hands resting on the fronts of his thighs. He pointed to me, not a word was spoken, he showed me what to do by pointing; after a few minutes in this awkward state, my legs started to go numb. We sat along side each other like books ends, still, saying nothing. The fire roared in front of us, I was just starting to get warm. The door opened and our heads bowed to the floor as our Mistress walked into the room, I did not see what she was wearing, but got a brief whiff of her perfume Oscar de La Rente, pure intoxication, hypnotic. Not a sound was made. She bent down to me, pulling my hair with a rough tug and placing a leather collar to my neck. The scent of black leather awakened my senses. The other slave had the same done to him. At which point she attached a dog lead to the collars and one by one paraded us around the carpet like dogs from crufts. Up stairs on all fours trying to keep up. The harshness of the carpet burning on my knees. One lap around the house and back to where I began. Patted on the head for being good doggies!! After the initial shock of becoming a dog for the evening and entertaining my Mistress in this manner, I calmed down and took to my new part with pride.The meal was of chilli con carne. "You shall eat at my feet while I shall sit at the table...a dogs place is on the floor." I was kneeling one side of her legs, the man, the other side.We had our hands tied behind our backs, only left to use our mouths, like dogs eat. I was the first one finish, doing my best to lick the remnants form around my face, so as not to be punished for making a mess. I was praised for leaving my bowl empty for which I received a pat on the head.." Good dog." I was pleased with my first attempt at trying to gain 'brownie' points against the other 'dog' not wanting to be the under dog so to speak. The evening was going with a swing, I'd been fed, walked but now I was desperate for the toilet, not daring to ask and holding my self between my legs, worried I'd be made to cock my leg in the cold winter night or some thing terrible like that. The pots were tidied away. As we sat from where we first began, the fire crackled and spat, but I was a content. My Mistress stood up and disappeared out of the room and upstairs. I took this swift opportunity to make a dash for the toilet hoping I wouldn't meet her on the way out or back in. I made it just in time as she re-entered the room, the lights went dim, the music started playing and we began.