Thursday, 14 January 2010

Empty

I got mad.
I thought
I'd got even.
I've even
cried about
it.. written
about it. So
have I got it
out of my system?
Have I learnt
my lesson. I know
I've hurt you..
I wanted too.
This isn't me,
I don't get mad.
I very rarely
cry, I guess
you'd call me
sad! I don't
know how you
felt, feel. I
kept asking
myself...is
this for real?
I know I can't
go back, I know.
I tried so fuckin
hard. It wasn't
me.. it was you.
You did this once
so long ago..I
found out I couldn't
actually let go.
I have to write,
I need to do this.
I guess deep down
I forgot who I
was, who I am,
who we were. I
don't know how
to mend, what I
have broken. I
don't know what
to do. There
can never be
another me
and you. So
all I want to
say is....I'm
sorry for what
I did, it wasn't
you it was me.
We are worlds
apart, we both
broke each others
hearts. So I hope
I can one day..
forgive myself
for the hurt
you gave, not
knowing what
you did, and I
now realising
I did the same.
If you read this
chances are you
will not realise
who or what I am
on about, I guess
you know how I
feel, felt. As I
cried and tried
to get even.
But I'm tired now.
I've given up
my fight, what I
did wasn't nice
or right. I hurt.
I think I always
will. I died
inside... we
both died inside.
I quit..do you?

14 comments:

Red Shoes said...

Bless your heart... I wish I could give you a big hug... *hugs*

That is so heartfelt... I hurt for you...

~shoes~

UBERMOUTH said...

Very sad, indeed. But a new beginning.

GIA said...

goodmorning baby

Indigo said...

Red Shoes ~ thanks, just those last minute dreggs from the bottom of my heart, soon be done..x

Indigo said...

UBS ~ Yep a new beginning.. I should give up red wine, it brings out the worst in me, thanks hun x

Indigo said...

GIA ~ Good day

Gregorio Martino said...

I don't get mad or even, I get ahead. I never forget a hurt.

JStar said...

I LOVE it girl!!!

Indigo said...

Gregoria Martino ~ I some times try too hard , if I look deeply it's still there.. thank you

Indigo said...

JStar ~ THANK YOU !!

BamaTrav said...

Indy - do you like mayo or mustard on your spam? ;) Oh, do you like it fried??

Indigo said...

Bama Trav ~ actually I don't like spam.... but if I did I'd eat it with Chilli sauce n Garlic mayo ;)

Nadege said...

Indigo, you are a brave poet.
this is the most heartfelt poem
I've read in quite a while.

Indigo said...

Nadege ~ thanks, I 'm fallin through space , picking up memmories of dead love along the way... I've had plenty of practice just lately