Thursday, 29 December 2011


When my daughter moved out to move in with her long time boyfriend, my life changed.... for the better. I'm not listening for anyone saying 'hang on a minute she's your blood, she's your little girl!' Yeah she is my blood and is still her daddy's little girl but she's 25yrs old. Our life had gotten back to almost normality.
Today she arrives with a car boot full of her belonging plus a 2year old CAT!! Bandit was her ex's way of her not gettin bored when he was away on business... so now my 6year old kitty has to make way for another male cat... good luck is what I say. I have laid down a few house rules and board money has shot up to the appropriate amount. Son's now lookin confused 'cuz he now has to do more, and so he should, this aint no fuckin hotel!! They don't like it they know where the door is. The last time ...well actually the time our daughter lived here she made my life a living hell, I blame her for me being on the anti depressants, I'm still on the fuckin meds... So I've told her what goes and what doesn't go. I also know that her dad isn't happy she's back, but we can't throw her out ( there has been times in the past I would have done!) So... our peace and quiet has now gone out of the window... am I a happy bunny? Ya really want me to answer that? I only hope that she can learn how WE live here.... She's in for a shock because I've changed too.

Tuesday, 27 December 2011

Inside out

Inside out is who I am.
I've never felt comfortable
in the clothes I wear, could
never find a certain fashion
that I felt comfortable in.
It was never me, I'm almost
in drag and the again I'm not.
Today I went shopping, well it
was more like several rounds
with a sumo wrestler.. the
crowds were a nightmare!
But I went lookin for a
jacket, a mans jacket.
I've had this dream
about wearin dinner suite
top hat n tails with
shiny shoes, kinda like
Fred Astaire fashion.
So today I went hunting
for the jacket, I have
long arms, long body
n broad shoulders..
you'd have thought it
would have been easy?
Not!! After several
shuffles in n out
of various shops,
I found River Island
with yes another
massive sale. Sifting
through the many rails
of unwanted clothes
I found my hand holdin
a grey blazer, with
that army type brass
buttoned effect..buttons
and I fell head over
heals in love with it.
It was my size, and
way more good lookin
than what I'd found
earlier so now I now
where this new look
is going with me.
Also it was originally
£55.00 reduced to £30
but get this I paid
£15.00 a total bargain.
Oh then I found a Lady
Gaga t-shirt which goes
with blazer.. then
Oh it just gets better
paid £20 for a fitted
waistcoat.. I now fit
the part.. this is me,
I'm done with tryin
to fit in with this
n that... this n that
don't work for me. I
have a new identity
now... I am in the
process of growin
my hair, slightly
boyish.. but I've
always wondered
what it was like to
be a boy... I'm happy
now and half way there.
Cool day for shoppin!!
I've come to accept
the new me now.

Saturday, 24 December 2011

~Christmas Eve~

It's Christmas Eve and all is well.
The tree is lit all pretty lights a
glow, presents all piled up beneath
it's glorious brow.. time to rest
and dream of the family who we will
share this banquet fit for a king
tomorrow, to rejoice in all our/
his glory. So I shall raise my
glass and pre wish you all a very
'H*A*P*P*Y~C*H*R*I*S*M*A*S' and
hope you all get what you wish
for....Turkey's in and veggies
done... tie to relax and be
ready for the festivities and
fun. God bless all my family
and friends. Cheers, love to
all my audience and may gods
peace be with you all this
merry Christmas Eve.

Sunday, 18 December 2011


I won this amazing picture off nitebyrd's blog a few weeks back. I received it last week and now can boast about my beautiful winnings. Abby is Autistic and makes these amazing pictures to relieve her stress. She is a very talented young lady.. Mine is awaiting the right size and colour frame to set off this picture and so hang it on my wall, pride of place. Thank you again nitebyrd... I love it!!

Tuesday, 13 December 2011


Never say never.
I remember the
first time I
saw you. My
heart yelled
out with Joy.
I think I
should 'av
been born
a boy.
all in one
bones. I
that night.
I can still
see it now.
From then
til now..
I loved
you so
much, gave
my every-
thing as
The kiss,
oh yeah
that KISS!
never have
ya know.
But it all
came together
as it always
does.. as
usual I
gave what
I've needed
to give, you
wanted to know
I delivered
the goods.
From that
day it's been
going down
hill ever
since. I
never felt
the same about
you. I said
I didn't love
you the same
as I used to
I lied!
I couldn't
go on, so
I pushed
you away.
So there
you have it,
I did it
for me, for
my sanity.
I couldn't
cope with
me. It
feel right.
I have
no idea
how I am
meant to
I have
to live
with this
empty void.
But I'm
safe because
I know you
won't read
this blog.

Saturday, 3 December 2011

BaGgY wAiSt SyNdRoMe...

Today I started off feeling well,
but as the day progressed it all
changed. My stomach is so swollen
now I look 7 months gone! This
they call IBS is literally a
right royal pain in the....
eventually ASS!! I went
Christmas shoppin, did
really well, started
and almost finished in
one day, can't be bad.
Tonight we have friends
coming round for a simple
meal..chicken balti, roast
veg n basmati rice if any
of you are feelin hungry?!
I've had to change into
a pair of sloppy baggy
gym bottoms, elasticated
waist syndrome! It makes
me feel sluggish..
trapped wind isn't
pleasant... esp when
ya can't move it on.
I'm done moaning now.