Monday, 28 February 2011

''' Swollen !'

I have a problem with my thumb joint. As you can see from this photo I have got a swelling actually on the joint itself. Thus creating constant pain. My everyday activities cause me to pull faces when the pain strikes... funny? No! I'm sharing my unfortunate discomfort with you out there, just in case you have any miracle remedies that I haven't yet heard of..... don't hold back now, let me have it...
The doctor's informed me that it is called wear n tear Arthritis.. this is on a good day... whilst on other not so good days it is twice the size in swelling. I can't take long term anti inflammatory as they give me chronic heart burn. I have tried gels, paracetamol.., nothing appears to help on a long term basis. I wear a wrist support most of the time, this gives some support to the thumb joint, it makes my hand sweat.. which can be a hindrance.

Wednesday, 23 February 2011


I've had a lovely wickedly fabulous day, today I became the impressive amazingly beautiful '50' year old, mistaken on more than one occasion by many that I was in fact lying about my age... that in itself put a bloody great big smile on my face.
I've walked into departments at work, all day, well since 7a.m, had so many folk wish me Happy Birthday, guys huggin n kissin me on the cheek.. women singin Happy Birthday, everyone else joining in to a rapturous chorus... me standin there laughing and possibly joining in. I had Julie in OMU dept bake me a cake... she makes them for peeps whether they are havin a baby, gettin hitched or comin of age or for anything.. it's got bright yellow icing on it and red n white sugar hearts on it... it's adorable. Another woman Kim, who I chat to some times came up to me and said that they'd signed this card for me and hoped I wouldn't be too embarrassed... at which point I either had a hot flush or went red anyway.
I have had money, money vouchers, a cheque for £50 of my parents, Champagne, flowers, drink..edibles.. a mug..18 cards including two from my sisters in Canada..
On the way home one of the nurses said there was a card from everyone in health care, I shouted out of my car window thank you and I'd collect it tomorrow... I like it when my Birthday overflows into the next day or two. I have a lot of friends at work, not just work mates but real friends... I am obviously well liked, well I do clean their departments and make a damn good job, not one for blowing my own trumpet but why not, I am good at my job. So how do I feel to be 50? No different to yesterday when I was 49... life begins at 50... watch this space.. Am sittin here on my laptop, I've just had a plate of 'fish n chips' mushy peas AND curry sauce... washed down with a large can of my favourite drink CIDER... apparently cider gets into your bones? Oh Goody ... so I'm gettin the real effect right. I have also achieved my goal of giving up smoking for good, I wanted to give before my 50th and I have accomplished this. I had my last fag 19th October last year, so you see I did it, I came ~I saw ~ I kicked mother fuckin ASS!!! ...Hahahahahaha So I'm now thanking all you lovelies out there in blog sphere land who wished me Happy Birthday today...Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu XXXX

Indi n out.

Tuesday, 22 February 2011

Almost here

It's just a number...
today is my last day for
being a fortininer !!
Not much different
from any other day.
Cards are coming in
fast and quick..
greetings from
near and far..
come midnight..
goodbye 49..
well hello
.... '50!'..
I can't wait.
Presents piled
up.. letters
from abroad..
A cake waitin
to be cut..
A whole list
of exciting
And a meal
out tonight
with my new
Family meal
on Friday
too.. all for
me? Thank you.

Saturday, 19 February 2011


The night was wet. Rain showers all day. I was cold but excited about our meeting that night. Our secret meeting, the same as is always was on a Thursday night.. The Duke of Wellington. Your
then girlfriend was totally oblivious to the fact that your hand spent most of the
evenings down the front of my panties, nestling between the warn folds of my throbbing vagina. Nipples erect like chapel hat pegs, a cold breeze brushed past my face and down my neck, losing sight of you for one split second was like losing life. I couldn't take my eyes off, I dreamt every night of us makin love, some thing we'd never actually done yet. Parkin the car, locking it and running toward the pub door.. still drizzling with rain, catching the door before it shuts. I order you a drink, mine's a half. Collecting the glasses I wonder round to the back of the bar, just out of sight, not too obvious... our secret rendezvous. Takin a sip of the cold liquid, the door flings open and you stagger in.. the weather's taken a turn for the worst. You're dripping wet. Your expression tells it all, rushing past me, chucking your umbrella on my lap as you motion to me you're desperate for the toilet. I lay down my glass on the table and follow you down two steps into the ladies room. Standing in front of the large mirror you attempt to straighten your soggy hair. I fall behind you wrapping my long thin arms around your waist.. you giggle, pulling playfully away.. worried some one would come in and catch us. I pull you into one of the cubicles. The wooden toilet seat clanks as I hurl in down, desperate to get you to myself. You stand beside me as I sit down.. straddling my left nee with immediate rush.. my blood rushing to my brain.. my groin breaking for freedom. Grinding your hips toward my thigh.. hands busy.. fabric ripping.. some one enters the room out side of our blush.. We giggle and stay quiet. Holding our breath for what appeared to be hours. My finger traced the out line of your face. Your eyes ....electric blue.. I knew what you were thinking and I know what you wanted. The toilet next door flushes, taps run and stop..foot steps leave the room, the door opens and shuts, peace proclaimed. Gently you pull my jumper over my head, my red locks falling over my shoulders. I shudder as the cool air tickles my skin, my nipples spring forward, you catch them with your hands and I let out this heated breath. Licking my lips - I lower my hand to your clit, chasing the tightness of the fabric which so carefully keeps it there. With finger nail drag it the full length from where I think your pubic hair nestles the top to the inbetweeness of your pussy- you throw your head back in abundance.. the expression written all over your face. Quickly I un zip your fly tug at your jeans, the scent of your woman hood fills my nostrils, pulling myself to the floor, burying my head between your thighs I take your clit in my mouth, parting your legs with my hands, steadyin myself for balance. My knees diggin into the gritty carpet.. flickin with added speed.. orgasm building. My shoulders takin your hands, your nails diggin deep into my flesh... The toilet door opens and shuts.. My heart missin a beat as our secret audience retreat. Door shut.. I open my eyes. Kneeling beside me we kiss... and kiss.. dress..kiss and say our goodbyes. Until next week my love. I flush the toilet to make it known that maybe
whilst we were gone so long we had used the facilities more than once, in more ways than one!!

Monday, 14 February 2011

Wings of Glass

As your finger touches my lips,
as my heart misses a beat.. I
whisper my inner thoughts of
how you found me, I was rescued,
after being so close to the edge,
I was ready to jump, I could
still jump if I wanted to..
As my foot slid toward the
tip of insanity.... cries
scuppered my head. Blood
ran from my wounds...
I saw the devils eyes
blink in my face.
I am.... this angel,
with wings of glass.
Pray for me tonight.
I shall see you
in my nightmares.

Saturday, 12 February 2011


Purple lights of flickering delight.
Heat rendering shrieks.. you gave
me such a fright. Goose bumps tickle
flesh... wrinkles..warm fuzzy tingle.
Tiny buds of naughtiness brushed
aside... legs provide friction..
Fabric 100% cotton, soft.. graze
intrude... Hand wonders aimlessly,
carelessly southwards, darkness,
introduces lightness of touch.
I want this so much. Prove...
Taking my time, not wanting
to rush.. teasingly..
pleasingly..clock ticking
in the back ground...much.
Ankles tangled in 100%
cotton rush. Window
eased.. sunlight heat
increase.. And then
with one easy push,
ankles free, legs
stretched wide..
intake of breath.
Cool minute hair
follicles retreat.
Brushed aside.
Tongue slide from
left to right..
collecting momentum.
Venus is smiling
in the palm of my
hand, fingers tease.
Dryness of mouth,
Time to scream..
friction.. good,
muscles cramp,
nipples erect.
Squeeze one
with the other
enhances pain,
so let's do it
quickens, goose
bumps rising.
Orgasmic retreat.
Shouting, screaming
legs thrashing..
100% fallen down.
Bed sheets, crumpled
Time out...heart
beat rising..
dances, the
stage is set..
Audience waitin,
take a bow..

Friday, 11 February 2011

Angels tears

Angelic liquor.
Pull the ring,
pull.. hear it
sizzle, pop,
sing. Pull
ring the can,
can I drink
it, yes I
can. Tip
or straight
from the
with pain
I am more
than capable
slight of
hand, open
wide... bubbles
tickle my throat
whilst white
cascade around
and eventually
down. Slick
tears.. you
got the name?
This is MY
new game,
this is my
I drink it?
Yeah..I CAN!!

Wednesday, 9 February 2011


A couple of days ago I started with a suspect sore throat.
Today I have got a snotty red sore nose.. which continues
to run.......and run.................and!
I have been watchin the fuckwits at work and how many don't
actually put their hands over their mouths when coughin,
sneezin? Not many. So I have now got some one's fuckin
cold. Ya know the kind I'm on about.. can't breathe, night
time heat.. sticky skin.. temperature lying in..
Watery eyes.... feelin like they don't belong to me..
tired eyes... am off to my bed. So the challenge is
to try and get rid this shitty cold long before
my birthday. Hell shit I'm actually running out of
time!! My big day is 23rd of this month.. I'm
throwing pain killers down my throat like they
are going out of fashion... washed down with a can
of cider... yum ! YUM ! Hick.. this is my new trick!

Tuesday, 8 February 2011


Lying there, cold skin...
flesh vulnerable..door
opens.. shuffle in..
nipples erect.. increase
with time.. lick, roll ,
flick..lick some more.
Caress..touch.. please.
fall of face.. amazin
grace. Tie me up
then unwrap this naked
body.. take what you
need.. tease me, please
me.. inhale me.. breathe.
Fibres tighten bonds..
creak.. feeling weak.
Mascara stained eyes.
Aching muscles..
movement restrict.

Sunday, 6 February 2011


Gary Moore has been found dead in his hotel room.

I am in shock........ Parisian Walkways, my ultimate

favourite piece of music. a Fantastic musician....

Originally from Belfast, a member of Thin Lizzy.

All the best die young, 58 yrs.old I am torn apart by this

sad news........ I will morn his early passing.

R.I.P Gary Moore...

Saturday, 5 February 2011

And ???

And ... the first day I fell in love.
You wondered in, not a care in the
world. A slither of hair tickled your
face... you injected my heart with
a mixture of wantonness and love..
I took you for granted.. it wasn't
to be. I told myself it would work
regardless. Who was I fooling? Just
for the record... don't let this
go to your head... all things aside
I still love you, miss our chats..
the one's we used to share, me not
aware you didn't actually care..
what was I to do .. kid myself?
Then one day I suddenly realised
we weren't to be...........ever.
My world fell apart, you broke
my heart, but I can't lay the
blame. I have to admit my life
since then has never been the
same. So ? What am I harping
on about.. I know we never
were.. will never be..
Excuse me but 5.3% x 3
cans of cider later, my
feelings have emerged,
fatal.. because when
I have sobered up I will
read what I wrote last
night.. smile.. possibly
throw up. Alcohol ... my
right hand man.. but I
so long for the touch
of a woman. A quick
flick of my right eye,
wink.. smile that
foolish grin.. open
the back door, usher
you in. 'Cup o tea?'
Take a seat.. rest
a while.. nervously
I prime the kettle,
grasp a couple of
cups..'chink' eyes
wide open, shakin
hands..leaning against
the worktop. Arms
appear around my
waist.. you stop
me in my tracks, I
drop my hands to
my waist, slide
my worried fingers
over yours.. I
spy a spider there
in front of me..
I turn.. we kiss.
Your expression
with Crescendo..
I can hear my heart
beat in my ears..
So loud.. notes
of distinction.
Fully blown
I can feel the
heat of your
mouth on my
back.. not
this time.
Am I dreaming?
Am I awake?
Please don't
stop.. this
was meant to
be.. hold me
don't ever let
me go.

Friday, 4 February 2011

For the Journey

Time to go home.
Pack up your every
things, fold away
the day..kiss
my yesterdays..
goodbye. Frantic
is my heart,
frozen and wet.
Snuggle down
close.. blood
supply recoverin
time heals all
wounds.. smile.
Wipe all tears,
shrug tightly
your shoulders.
Deep breath..
tomorrow is
just another
day away..
time heals
every thing,
time is all
I have. Cold
hands warm

Wednesday, 2 February 2011

I am

The great count down
has begun..ten, nine
eight... seven...six.
Five.....Oh.. Soon
to be half a century
young. I'm looking
at it from the other
side.. I'm am life
as I know I am. Old?
NFW..(not fuckin way!)
See it's easy...
Age is but a number..
I have to understand
what it brings me...
What I can expect
to gain from my
time left on this
crumbling planet.
To realise that
things aren't
always as they
might seem. For
instance is the
glass half full?
Or half empty.
Stop believing
no one loves
me.. I have a
heart of solid
gold.. a mind
full of stories
waiting to be
invented, and
eventually told.
So where shall
I begin. Has
she lost her
marbles? Of
course not,
this is me.
Sit up straight
listen to what
I have to say.
We're on this
planet once,
life is this,
we have no
rehearsals. If
I want to jump
then I have to
measure the
distance, go
for it.. Step
out from under-
neath my umbrella
go dance naked
in the rain.
Experience all
that life offers.
And get this one..
piss folk off..
if they don't
like the scenery,
the scent of my
perfume.. close
the door on the
way out, leave
my room. This
may not make
sense to
many if any
of you.. Face?
Bothered? For
if you know
me properly
through blog
and e mails
and the like,
Hi my name
is.. and I
am life and
I know I am.

Tuesday, 1 February 2011

Vampire for my love

Ticking clock.
Trace with pace
the lining of
my face, rip
apart with
blood stained
talons, kiss
every depth,
feel all that
I offer..
Start at
the beginning.
Step one..kiss
gently with
haste. Don't
keep me
eager to
tick.. tock..
tick.. slide
beneath my
flesh.. lick
my heart
around the
palm of your
hand.. quick
I scream as I
command. Tick,
tock. Every
second of
every minute.
Blood drains
from my vision
pale is the
Strike.. bite.
Neck stretched
back, 'Arghhhh..
the pain is
quick, as the
sun begins to