Monday, 31 January 2011


Ten years down the line.
Happy job.. until just
of late.. changes made
jobs no longer here, in
actual fact she's been
what I consider to have
been well and truly
shafted... fucked,
pushed out of the
door... a job?
no more. Tears
did flow, she's
our friend you
know... the one
who looks after
us when things go
bad... now it's
our turn but we
have no say.. she
left today.. we
said our goodbyes,
had a hug, wiped
some tears.. I
feel so sad, she
was the best,
tough on the
outside but
really? I'd
never seen
her cry..until
today. Don't
worry she's got
a case, she's
takin the union
with her she'll
make 'em pay.
It's not the
money, it's the
way they've done
it.. no rules
did they follow,
she's comin in
for a meetin
tomorrow, we'll
stay in touch..
meet for a drink
or ten.... we
don't actually
know when. I
shall keep my
eyes peeled,
Email her when
I can.. I'm
a spy for her
for the idiot
boss at work,
the one who
shafted her.
She will win
this case..
we will miss
her smiling
happy face,
the one who
held our

Friday, 28 January 2011

Self Explanitory

Finger's crossed I should win the lottery.
What would I do to celebrate? Buy a new
car...or a new motorbike? Get pissed?
Or buy a pub? I've always thought I'd
have more chances of platting fog!
But ya gotta be in it to win it
or at least have half a chance of
almost winning it. So I'm not
talking a few hundred or a few
thousand.. the big one..several
millions maybe would be nice..
My brother is in trouble with
his business right now.. I don't
know how he survives, he hardly
gets paid.. so if I won the lottery
tonight enough to tell them at
work to 'get stuffed' I'd give
my brother enough funds to
get him self unstuck, pay for
his house.. and have plenty
left for a rainy day. So
what would I do next?
I'm guessin maybe build
a house to my specifications..
complete with a moat...
friends welcome, people
who think they know me, the
one's who in the past have annoyed
me, pissed me off.. oh I got
a great memory. I'd tell
them to go fuck off.
Cats!! I'd donate a chunk
to local cats home...
fillet steaks for life.
I might ditch the
fella ... go marry
a wife. Pay off the
children, start
living my life..
I got a ticket,
am waiting to buy
lessons on how
to Platte fog!!

Wednesday, 26 January 2011


My daddy used to smack me,
when I used to wet the bed.
It's one of those re-occurring
nightmares that I can't seem
to get out of my head.
We/they tried all kinds
of medication, relaxation,
alarm bells would ring as
soon as the tiniest drop
of piss came into contact
with the protective rubber
sheet.. part of the Victorian
contraption I had with
every night's disturbed
sleep. I tried my best
not to fall asleep..
I dreaded every morning
waking to find out I was
lying in cold pee. I'd
lie in fear as I heard
my Daddy's foot steps
clamber up to my room.
Eye's fixed as the door
would open, I buried
my head beneath the
covers of my bed.
When asked if I were
dry.. my eyes would
fill with tears.
I must 've been
a nightmare for
my parents, if
this is what they
did to me, I
even did a stint
in hospital to
try n find out
why I did it..
I hated every
minute of it,
I used to hide
under my bed.
More pills to
take, wire's
attached this
time, only to
my head!
When I am feeling
down, all these
nightmares I
used to own..
re enter my
troubled head.
The monsters
are still hiding
under my bed.
13 is unlucky
for some. 13
was the age when
I stumbled out
of child hood
and on the slippery
road toward being
an adult.
Dry nights, no
more smacks.
Just mood swings,
periods..pubic hair
and those
wobbly things
growing on
my chest!!!!

Monday, 24 January 2011

To Fart or not to Fart.?..That is the question.

I've got an appointment to night with some young artists.
Brushes at the ready, pencils steady.. shall we begin?
I posed for the same bunch of 6Th formers a couple of weeks
ago. The room I have to admit for the first time, like
forever was warm. They (fully clothed) were breakin out
into a sweat. I was just comfortable, unlike the pose
I had to hold for just under 2 hours. I've been a life
model for various art schools now for 20 years or so.
I'm very comfortable with my body and how it looks.
I guess I'm a bit of an exhibitionist..!!
I don't know what tonight's pose will consist of,
but for saying I've been on my feet all day..
I'm keeping my fingers crossed it's a sitting down one.
Finger's crossed I'm not standing up again. AND
the room is warm for me. Nothing worse than keepin
perfectly still naked in the same position in a cold
environment for any length of time. Cramp is a beggar,
pins and needles kind of annoys me too.. with a
subtle cd of light classical music I clamp my
focus on some thing for the evening, trying
my best not to fall asleep or think of sleep,
or FART!! Try that one next time you're in
a room not necessarily naked. and you need
desperately o let one out... just see how
long you can keep in hidden, or ways of
letting it go without anyone knowing,
from the direction of the noise that you
have FARTED !! It is in it's way an art.
How not to FART when in the company
of a bunch of strangers... Lol...
Depending on how the evening goes,
as to if any of the paintings are
good enough.. I may well take a photo
and post it tomorrow for you to see..

Saturday, 22 January 2011


Itinerary. Objects needed for European bike tour. Precisely !
Red triangle in case of break down or accident with bike .
Placed several feet away from place of incident, to let the
other road users know there is an incident around the corner.
(Not exactly rocket science!)
Plasters... in case of broken nail? It's obvious that a
plaster (band aid) is not going to be of much use in the
case of terminal bleeding (forward slash) amputation!
Bandage ~ for use of holding mobile phone to left arm whilst
riding bike (should we forget to wear a helmet).
Antiseptic cream ?? Guess it's not ideal for lubrication?
Moving on .. Safety pins ? fishing ?
Dressings for ? maybe for wrapping sandwiches in to
keep fresh ? Any how these are some of the things
we shall be taking with us. If I can think of
any thing else... I'll be sure to let you know.
Oh yeah..... I'll be sure to take my Guardian
Angel with me... my white feather. Oh yeah
and the motorbike ..called 'Spike' named after
Spikyzorajones . American Express? That'll do nicely.

Wednesday, 19 January 2011


Eyes...and lips, pause...embrace.
With urgency two hearts beat in
tandem race. Hot breath, luscious
flesh parts, lean in close..teasing
with...sudden pull away. Emerging
like a restless tide gathers
momentum. Begin small and low,
speed quickens. Immerse...
desire, tidal proportion, rise..
then 'CRASH'...'KISS'..'ENGAGE.'
Euphoric eclipse. Two mouths
as one. This love ..chapter one.

Tuesday, 18 January 2011

Getting the point.

OK.. last Friday I went for my second appointment for some acupuncture.
The first time I experienced this unusual NHS treatment was just before
Christmas.. I had no idea of what to expect, so went in with an open
mind. I was very surprised in the fact that I never felt the fine
stainless steal needles enter my skin.. nor when they were removed.
Friday however was a whole new ball game. With the added discomfort
of more breast rib ache, I mentioned ( should have kept my mouth
shut). I had to roll my trouser legs up to just above my knees.
This time the room was warmer as the physio had turned the
air con off, due to last time damn nearly freezin to death.
She has a good memory, as do I. I enquired had she had a
good holiday, 'yes' thank you Karen replied.. then went
on to mention how they got stuck in the Spanish air strikes
and sent a couple of days actually at the airport, but
all in all the resort was very nice, weather and food too.
Last week I had in all 12 needles thrust into my skin...
So far so good, Karen's so skilled, she should take up
darts!! The final needles went in on the tops of my feet,
just forward of where my bony bits are ( I don't have fat
feet!) 'THAT HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT' as I let her know in
a high pitch squeal at the point of impact. She laughed
'Oh I forgot to mention this part of the foot can be
quite painful.' Me still squirming and diggin my finger
nails into the couch side... ' Oh really' I answered..
mouth clenched forcing the words out of my mouth.
When the needles are nicely placed just under the flesh,
I am told to be quiet (difficult) close my eyes and
go to sleep..(easy) of which I did.. having been up since
5a.m that morning, sleep was just what I needed. So
what now? I have to have some more treatment ( can't
wait;]!) and after that possibly some more treatment,
they obviously think I haven't got quite enough
puncture marks on me yet, but apparently in this
process at least six doses are necessary to treat
the problem I have. After that I have no idea, I'm
assuming after a all that I will no longer have
pain, and can carry on living a pain free life. I've
just booked my ferry trip to northern Spain in
June so I need to get fit for that.. I am
going to Europe on my motorbike... lots of
fun but hundreds of miles.. hard work if
my ribs still hurt me... but I'm sure I
wont let that spoil my fun....!

Friday, 14 January 2011


Red roses for my lover,
pierced skin, caught by
the door as I entered
in. It'd been raining
my hair was wet, you
leaned in to me, fingers
poised, pat on back..
'come now' you throw
a towel around my
shoulders.. rub my
hair dry. Stickin
up I nervously
brush aside my
fringe. Ripping
apart a band aid
flippin it over
my cut, it stings,
I gasp with
shuddered breath..
'now now it's not
that bad..' Blood
throbbin, 'think
it's too tight?'
You brush aside
my fringe, with
a reassuring kiss
on my forehead..
'you'll be alright'.
Fingers n thumbs
to remove my coat.
Fumbled pieces of
crumpled paper
shoved in
pocket of my coat.
Teasingly you
snatch it out
of my hands..
Jumping around
like a timid cat.
I sit myself
down.. sulking
with down turned
frown. You
mimic my temper
I sulk even
more. 'I wrote
you a poem, but
it's ruined now!'
Sit beside with
hand held right,
I take hold
with warming
delight. You
hand me the
poem all crumpled
and rough, I clear
my throat..gentle
cough. Silence
prevails, drum
Eager to please
hand held, finger
up..blood throbs
and with delicate
touch you take
me in your arms.
Roses are red
violets are blue,
I know I'm fallin
in love with you.
My finger did
hurt, my heart
is on fire..
I shall give
my all, you
are my desire.
Violets are blue
roses are red..
You pulled me
to standin
and led me
to your bed.

Thursday, 13 January 2011


My world.
The last
couple of
weeks the
light has
faded. I'm
not exactly
feeling on
top of the
world. No
bitin any
one's head
off at the
Mood swings
most days..
with so much
pain related.
Sleepless nights
hot sweats..
aching joints,
slowly with
much haste
sliding towards
hitting 50, I keep
tellin myself
it's just a
number.. it is
right? I'm
not actin
my age, never
have, never
will, I'm not
poorly or ill.
Just not
feeling 100%
give me some
time, I'll
be alright.

Wednesday, 12 January 2011


Heat from the bath,
feet at the end with
the taps.. bubbles
form, deep crevices
leak wet, ooze, trickle
horny now I feel..
eyes wide shut, ease
legs apart..butterflies
dancing on my heart.
Door locked, lights
down low. Suck my
index finger Oh so
slow. Feel the
rhythm, feel
the heat, rub a
little quicker,
want the heat.
Pins n needles
caress my skin,
toes n fingers
ankles n knees.
Rub left nostril
with other hand
abort the sneeze
before it begins.
Sweaty forehead,
lingerin desire,
faster finger
this burning
fire. Sensations
escalating, running
out of control...
first orgasm comin
nipples hard to
nails into flesh
orgasm two is on
it's way.. teeth
bite lower lip
to kill the scream
water jumpin with
rippled flesh..
water, bubbles
jumpin every
where.. floor
clouds my eyes..
Euphoria smothers
Fast becomes my
finger, moist is
my clit, slushin
slappin noises
muffled gripes
as this earth
ORGASM hits!
'YES!' 'YES!'

Tuesday, 11 January 2011

' Ish..'

Sunday was
OK with a
hint of
I woke
in a
Why? I
have no
idea. A
day to
on what?
I don't
know. Now
Monday was
oh so
better, not
so 'ish..'
you gettin
my drift?!
I happen
to like
Not quite
being the
middle none
descript type
of day. Half
way thru the
week. I love
Fridays in
some respects
although I
get up at 5
a.m middle
of the night.
reminds me
of my Gran..
She used to
come visit
my mum's house
every Thursday
many years ago.
So we got to
call her Thursday
Gran. We don't
call her it
now, she died
some years back.
She was a fine
lady,hard workin
... sorry I'm
going off the
track, so here
I am back..aha
where was I? Oh
yeah the 'ish'
days of the week.

Saturday, 8 January 2011

Hard and fast

Today the sun shone low in the clouds
as I rode hard and fast around and
around. Traffic as ever in my face.
I rode my bike like a bastard..hard
and fast with uncontrollable heat.
Over taking with no due care nor
attention.. with no desire to
retreat. Corner after corner,
hills and dales, and forever
in my face the bastard sun
shone. To escape my weary
throne, the vibrations are
second to none. Slight with
grip, severed gravel, back
wheel slipping just ever so
slightly.. touch brakes, deep
intake of breath.. heart
skips several beats. Top lip
brushed with anticipation.
Black leather jeans squeak,
trapping the heat beneath
my seat..squeek...switch
weight second corner is..
imminent, sun ...low..eyes
squint. I like to ride like
a bastard, hard and fast..
grip not too tight..eyes
blink, sun just not in the
proper place, trees flicker
like strobe lights.. the
air becomes cooler these
winter nights. Bright lights,
tarmac heavily burdened with
late December salt. Cracks
in the surface, pot holes
scattered, sun in my eyes
not sure where, how certain.

A slash of Ginger

The wind is getting up.
I awake early, rise..
make a cup of tea..
lemon with honey, a
splash of ginger.
Sore throat imminent.
I love to lie in bed
half in half out
listening to the winter
weather blow..a quick
glimpse of the sky
through my window
tells me it's going
to be wet. A gentle
breeze floats in,
a refreshing change.
For the past hour
an alarm clock in
my daughters room
had shouted it's
head off. Distant
disruption.. so
why don't I get
out of my
half inside state
and go turn
it off..
My tea is just
hitting the spot.
Time to reflect
of what the day
will bring. Stomach
rumbling, what
shall I have for
to break my fast?
The thought of
a nice hot shower
invites me to
move.. the alarm
clock still shrieks
in my daughters

Wednesday, 5 January 2011

11 weeks

11 weeks and counting.
Circulation improving.
Clothes smell better,
taste buds coming round,
food for thought, nice.
Focus on the here and
now. Money saved from
pulling out. No more
bad breath.. all gone.
Lungs filled with
fresh air.. better
conditioned red
hair. Nails improved.
All round fitness,
circulation great.
veins no more to
throb. 11 weeks
and counting.. no
more clouds of
blue smoke, no
more lungs of
to stuff the air,
I'll soon be
another year
older, time to
stop killing me,
take to take
an inwardly check
make good this
choice and with
sound mind and
voice say 'NO' to
smoking, I'm not
joking, I've
not had a fag
for 11 weeks now.
'WOW' well done
to me, I had a
feeling I'd
succeed this
time round.
In 7 weeks time
I'll be another
year older..
50 to be exact.
50 years old..
half a century
on this planet.
A planet that
is slowly dyin
through years
of pollution.
I have a choice.
I am proud of
what I have
acheived so
far, I know
I won't go
back to the
fags.. no way,
Time out.
Cold turkey
I think they
call it, last
one done, throw
it out, stamp
on it, put it
out. No more
from that day
till this, I
don't even miss.
So what I'm
saying is, if
for whatever
it is you want
to acheive, you
can with a bit
of will power,
it's as easy
as 1-2-3!


She's been off sick.
I've missed her smiley
face, her cheerful grin.
I had asked quite a few
folk when she was returnin
and what was wrong..replies
with muffled tongue.. the
don't actually knows..
I got a nice surprise
today, bending down
fighting with Henry's hose,
my hoover, don't you know.
'Hi how are you?' came
this I recog-
nised the sultry tones.
I almost jumped.. mouth
dry and with wondrous
surprise.. it was 'She'
my woman..the colour
purple draped around her
neck line like some
royal regalia..I
found myself starin
as she stood quite
still in front of
me.. I can't remember
how I must have looked
as I replied 'hey..
you, how are you?'
'How's your knee?'
Fully recovered I
see?!' My heart
became all of a
flutter..sweaty palms
temporary stutter
pulse raised..
this thumping
noise penetrate
with added pace.
She turned and
walked away. My eyes
followed like some
love struck teenager.
I can't remember
who was looking, I
didn't actually
care.. she's back.
(Jump for joy-
out the door,
out of any one's
view..) she's
back. In my world
of who's hot n
who's not.. she
hits my spot..
temperature rising,
when she enters the
room, butterflies
dancin, my stomach
overflowin with
ample nerves..
I can't wait for
tomorrow.. yeah
just another borin
day at the office,
but ya see in my
world.. in my bubble
she makes my heart
sing, my feet rock.
Given half the chance
I'd give her every-

Saturday, 1 January 2011


I have to gain your trust.
I can't feel anything from
my waist downwards right
now. My leather jeans are
stuck. Pain gathers momentum
whilst the slightest of
movement penetrates my
brain telling me not
to move..wait for the
ambulance to arrive..
The young police woman
stares at my legs..
I hold tight her hand,
my eyes become blurred.
I need to pee. The sound
of sirens deafen me.. like
fireworks on new year's
eve. I close my eyes
and inwardly with
power and determination
repeat 'the Lord's prayer.'
Our father who art in
heaven... darkness fell
that day. I've been in
another universe. I can't
get used to the wheels
on my chair. I tried
a wheelie yesterday,
with the whole ward
watchin with baited
breath.. I regained
my trust, but I know
it'll take me a lot
longer to trust my
nerve. That light
at the end of
the tunnel? I felt
the heat from the
bulb, I turned the
light back on.
Death will not
take me away,
not just yet.
When I am feelin
brave, I fill the
bath with hot water
sit and stare at
the scars..they
will not repair.
I have no feelings
my legs are dead.
My head still aches
for the bike I know
in my heart I will
never ride again.

Pineapples make me fart...

Pineapples are a strange kind of fruit.
Like a tree, but any kind of
fruit you'd expect to find, when riding
your camel at quarter to five in the
morning. Sun on your back, cramp in
your knees... sore throat in abundance
sneezing..kindly please use a tissue..
PLEASE?? I have from experience, in
the past come to find that should
I eat to much of this strange fruit,
pass wind ALL THE TIME!! Now don't
get me wrong, I adore the tangy
flavour, perfumed flavour.. but
as I chew..and chew..and CHEW..
I can feel my tummy rumble
and gurgle.. my bowels react.
In fact I've quite honestly
with years of practice..
turned eating pineapple
into an art... and as I
said a moment ago...
if I eat to much of
this delectable spiky
shaped fruit... then I
will in fact, in no
time at all........

FART..... and
believe me or
not but it isn't
a nasty pungent
repulsive stink..
it actually, this
pineapple eating
art I have achieved
does have a delicately
perfumed scent about
it.. it doesn't
smell of fart, this
art.. it smells
of pineapples.
This is for
one of my new-
comers who asked
in his comment
if I could
introduce 'fartin'
into my poetry,
so Mr.Pineapples..
this is for you. OH.
.......... and if I
didn't blog about
it before (Idid-but
got no response-thanks)
Happy New Year !! Adios.