Sunday, 31 October 2010

Think not of me

Never think of me.
Never talk about me,
nor speak my name.
I hear all that
you think.. turn
away from my
Be gone. My
heart bares
all scars.
I feared,
but I did
those fears.
Dream not
of me..
cry no
tears for
my life.
My face
is here
to stay,
do not
look in my

Saturday, 30 October 2010


You had pissed me off the last time we had contact. I was tired, you were just annoyed with life at the time, your life, life in general. I ... we exchanged words.. I went silent on you. My old trick was, that when ever we had fall outs I would go silent on you. I've grown up a lot since then. I now retaliate... say what's buggin me. We had words. We picked the wrong day to exchange glances let alone words...words that dented my heart..
I wrote about it on my blog, as I am doing now. WHY? Because I want to.. because I feel / felt I had changed so much in the past how many years. You have in unleashed a different part of me. I have ( silence !! ...thinking what to write next... blink, dry mouth..lick lips.) We have evolved you and I. That night I fell in love with you. It was Halloween. Fancy dress. I went dressed as a devil, red from head to foot including red spiky fork. I even had a red tail trailing behind me. It took me days to make...
Line dancin back then was a Large part of where we are now. I found this person dressed from head to foot in a black outfit, painted with white bones..aha a skeleton! ( smiling.. remembering.) Trying to dance for me wasn't an easy thing, in fancy dress...bloody impossible! We laughed, we had some member able times dancin, I couldn't take my eyes off you that night...
It's been some years since then. We've been through some shit together. My journey started that night in October, Halloween. Tonight is October-Halloween.
Wednesday 27th October. We went out for a drink, prior to that, I was still feelin subdued.. deflated. All these years we've been friends, very good friends. It's some times a kiss n a hug.. I didn't always insist on a kiss on the lips. If I was feelin confident I would lean into you, make some joke about it. I still feel.. confused. You are the only female friend I have who kisses me on the lips... some times.
First ever serious relationship.. one night I was textin to you under the darkness of my duvet, phone on silent. You shocked me, but for everything I was tryin to accomplish.. happened. It just landed in my lap. You wanted a part of me. You wanted to share me... with her. What was I going to do? What I always do... I delivered.
One cool day, a weekend if I recall. You called for me. Parked your car in our drive and we went for a walk down towards the river. I was cool, calm and nervous. I knew what we were doing...walking...avoiding cow pats.. climbing over five bar gates.. makin easy conversation. Why was it easy conversation? I'd known you for quite a few years... Was 'easy'.. comfortable? Was 'easy' the air bag to catch the commotion that was about to hit full swing into your lap? My lap had already been filled, my heart was all a flutter. My heart raced like an horse gunnin for the finishing post. Sweat formed in that tender bony area between my breasts.
We walked toward the flow of the river. The air was still, not a leaf stirred, a couple of cows looked in our direction. Just then I found a tree.. leaned against it. You came toward me, I could see you weren't sure on the procedure. You face brushed against mine. I took the lead. We kissed with abundance. My tongue..
My hands traced the out line of your face, like two lovers. But we never were .. lovers. You said I'd just kissed your face off... I smiled. Yes I had. I am a good kisser (something else I've learned over the years, admit what I'm good at without sounding like I'm bragging!) That in itself isn't an easy thing to do, but I'm workin on it. We walked back to the car. My head was buzzin, I felt light headed. We came, you saw, I conquered. Was this the start of some thing good for me? Is this what I really wanted? We didn't get any further, mainly because I was already in a relationship... lookin back, would I have done things differently?
Had we have taken it further... would you have let me take you. I've been in limbo for so goddamn long... I've given up. We / I like to flirt with women... men to some times. I get scared with men...
I was always telling you 'if you just gave me a chance you'd be screamin for more!' Who was I tryin to kid. We've been through so much crap you and I.
( Blinkin, holdin my eyes..fixed.)
I have given up.. I text you last week. You're not ready for another commitment, least of all with me.. Even though you once told me, you'd be scared.. of what? I could be so gentle with you.. you can't cum easily... me neither hun, anything great is worth waitin / workin for. Like I said babe, I with draw my intentions.. friends we will always be... lovers? we will always be friends.
I thought I'd lost you.. did we some where along the way lose each other? Have I found another side of you / me?
Memories ~ A blast from the past.
It all fits into place now. You said on Wednesday when we met for a drink. From the night we went line dancing.. I'd had lots to drink. Drink and my emotions don't mix.
Some guy you had your eyes on, Dave... he got up to dance.. I wanted to say there and then that I lov....ed you. I bottled it. Walked out. That night you didn't sleep. I walked and walked...
It was gone midnight. Fortunately it wasn't raining. Pity for my poor feet. Eight miles in total darkness (I have a fear of the dark.) Dave came back to you to look for me. I was almost passed out on the pavement. I eventually realised I should come back to the car park. I couldn't find your car. You'd driven off lookin for me.. wrong direction again. I think I'd set off in the wrong direction since that first time I saw you .. line dance? Skeleton?
By the time I'd figured out which road I ought to be walkin down, I'd come to realise I was on my own, pissed as a fart.. cold..!!
Worried ? I was a bit... I had no money. The words kept running around my head ' I love you..' Should I have told you? Would you have figured me out ? I so wanted you to figure me out.
I got to the next village.. it did rain on the way. My feet hurt and I had blisters on my heels. Day break was just around the corner. Birds were singing... I was sobering up.
I managed to get home in one piece. Straight to bed, couldn't get warm.
Bang on the front door.. You standin there.. Panic on your face. You hadn't slept all night. I had walked eight miles.. running from my fear. Fear that if I had told you what was eatin away at me... fear that you would reject me. Fear that I didn't know who I was... I know now who I am. It all fits into place now... your words... not mine.

Thursday, 28 October 2010


We shared a room last time we went out.
A business trip of sorts, I was on time
she was late, we chatted, laughed.. ate
our food. When all was finished, we threw
caution to the wind and went out into the
cold night air for a night of loud clubs.
Sticky floors, drunken fools, music so
loud my ears hurt.. poundin floors,
everyone dancin in a fashion..cramped
into this smokey place.. shouting..
what they think are the words to what
ever's playing. I'd had enough by 1
a.m, you decided to stay a while
longer.. every one was well...
past the limit.. thank god I chose
to walk back through the town to
the hotel.. what the hell, the
streets were well lit, and the rain
still fell but ever so light. You
arrived back at 3, I was still awake
not yet fully asleep, I leaped out of
bed to open the door, towel
wrapped round as I wear nothin
in bed.. I threw it off last
before divin back into my
cosy bed. You stumbled about,
I thought you so funny.. pissed
and so fuckin loud.. you had
to be in work in less than 4
hours. You wished you'd seen
sense and come back with me
then. Trippin you fell on
my bed, your hair was well
out of place, and your red
lipstick...smudged down your
face. You cleaned your teeth,
giggling at me.. covers up..
good night *giggles* lights
out. This year we're going
again, you asked me if I was
getting a room. Disappointed
you are, well we've almost
got this far.. I've got a lift
there and back. You won't
hear of it, I'm stayin over
night..that's it! On the
end of some one's bed or
floor I will sleep. They're
all askin if I'm going.. to
Alton Towers for the works
Doo, Of course I am ... I have
a new interest now... you?

Monday, 25 October 2010


Darkness bites at my heels.
Damp beneath my eyes, south
of my heart, beating. Gather
all that is mine, strength
hold fast.. embed. Pierce
this flesh you see, devour.
Engage all that we could
have... touch all that lies
beneath your skin, slither...
Wrap your soul around
my heart.. strangle.
Easily distracted,
simple.. cool breath,
nipples inlaid with
hot kisses.. heat
impacted.. sweat
rejected.. slumber.

Sunday, 24 October 2010


When we were together, an item you would say.
You would give me a box full of tasks to do
for when you went away.. I have to admit
that I found them rather boring, tedious
in fact.. It wasn't all my own work, the
Internet played a huge part.. those
goodbye tears,, didn't come from the
heart. I often wondered what I would
feel like if you never came back..
Apples made of clay, stories about
this n that. Going out in the car
wearing nothing but a blind fold,
driven in total darkness in the
freezing cold..what were you
thinkin, I've come to the
conclusion you never did..
candle lit dinners, no words
to be broken.. silence was
some times utter bliss..
Don't do this and don't do
that.. wear this, I made
it for you, lookin back
I must've looked a complete
twat! Funny though these
lines may sound... for
some godforsaken reason,
I actually hung around.
I'm not mouthin off, I
guess you tried your
best... I wonder how
your new boyfriend fares.
I assume he's still around
or is he some one else who
finally found out your
simple mind, maybe he
too has left?! I really
am so happy now, my life
is full of glee.. it's
me, my bike.. this man,
we're so happy us three.
I did myself a favour..
when I decided you'd
bored me to death..
And now I believe you
too have left him, or
did he throw you out?!
Life has it's way of
giving back in return
what you took away..
I'm only glad I realised
what I knew back then.
Everything is gone
now, nothing of you
is here.. I smile
and often think..
of how now I really
feel. I have my friends
around me, the one's who
actually care..would
do absolutely anything
for me.. yeah.. they
really do care. I'm
sitting here smiling
cuz I have found
my path in life..
I don't use people
and when I'm done,
I don't spit them
out. I love my life family, my new
car.. and all that
is mine and his..
I love and adore.
This poem suddenly
sprung into my
head, but it's late
I really must go to
BED!!! ;)))))))

Saturday, 23 October 2010

Just the ticket

It rained,
I just
knew it
would. I
got wet,
from head
to foot.
I paid by
card, it
wasn't so
are booked
for next
year, I
can't wait,
to see their
faces when
we return
to Canada
again. 10
hours by
plane, but
first by
I don't
care that
it rained,
I have
to look
to.. 2 weeks
booked in
E mails
to send,
smiles to
keep, July
in hot
what more
could I
ask for,
all for
two weeks.

Friday, 22 October 2010


Bite my lip whilst fingerin my clit.
Ease slightly the fabric which surrounds
my zip. Squeeze together in finger n
thumb.. the pain is exquisite.. the
sensation becoming numb. Tingle..
tickle.. fumble..Mmmm...moist.
Lightly rub with accuracy..
What starts off slowly soon
becomes erratic behaviour.
All senses..heightened...
nipples erect, the air's
filled with sexual temper.
Clitoral hood engorged
with blood..'Oh my goddd
I'm coming..' this is
gettin good. Labia swells
and the air is perfumed
with Euphoria.. this
is heaven.. sweaty
fingers, all muscles
twitch. Hand becomin
erratic...quick, slick
is my finger upon my
clit..fumble. slick,
sticky now wet.. but
wait... I haven't
finished yet!

Thursday, 21 October 2010

New Toy

This is my new baby! I used to have a BMW but it was one of those things that just became older and in need of alot of dosh spending on it. I got my little whiz of a car today.. Peugeot 206 player, central locking, ace radio.. comfy seats.. silver.. she is amazing.. she didn't cost me an arm and a leg.. I don't get attached to cars any more, only motorbikes.. when I part with those.. I normally cry. Yes a fully grown woman crying over a m'bike... and why not?! I found her on Sunday.. put a deposit down and collected her at 6pm today... she will be cheaper to run. The BMW was a 2 litre, expensive all round, this one is what I consider to be 'the Bea's knees' 'Awesome!' I just have to think of a name for her... any ideas?


Tuesday, 19 October 2010


Some times I have an idea for a poem.
I wrote one a couple of days ago..
I got no comments so I decided it
wasn't one of my better jobs..
'press'...'delete' and it's gone.
I haven't written a great deal
of 'erotic' stuff lately..
I haven't had my head
screwed on right.. dark
mornings.. coming home
in the dark.. Workin
hard, wearing myself
out.. being ill.. it
all takes it toll on
me..(I'm not gettin
any younger!) I do
have to say though
that I do like this
time of year.. cold
crisp weather. I did
however brighten a
few peeps lives up
the other day by
givin them an award.
As for everything
else in my life
right now, I don't
have the 'umph..'
the time... the
energy. So if
you still visit
my blog and write
some kind of
comment then I'll
be happy with that.
I'm guessin we all
have days like
this eh? So I'm
now off for a
long hot bubble
bath.. and finish
my beer.. Adios

Saturday, 16 October 2010

Award Time

OK peeps... I feel my heart's
ready for some giving, as I
always find it's much easier
to give than to receive....!
So here I go.. This award is
for some people I've come to
find in this blog sphere as
...well exactly what the
award says... 'Awesome!'
And in complete order....
drum roll please..thrrrr

1. Nitebyrd

2. Sunny

3. Spiky

4. Heff

5. Red Shoes

6. Joanna cake

7. Gray

8. Krippled Warrior

9. Me! I am giving
myself this
'Awesome' award. ;)

I don't have to explain
why I have chosen you..
it's self explanitory
really.. I just have
one thing to say really

Friday, 15 October 2010


Warm fuzzy feeling,
beneath the folds of
my thighs..'mmmm....
Arrrrrrr.....' now
slide, your fingers
deep into my clit.
Left a bit, right
a bit, 'oh yeah'
that's it just
there.. 'oh god.'
Feel how you
excite me, see
how my body
moves with
each gentle
stroke.. ease
softly at first
with you index
digit, leave
your print
on my bud of
suck, roll
each hardened
pink bud..
alternate with
burnin desire,
build my fire,
ignite. Thighs
tighten around
your hand as my
orgasm breaks
me into the
tunnel of
with thunderous
rapture.. head
spinnin out
of control..
my body..hold.

Tuesday, 12 October 2010


You glance in my
direction, with
At first I
don't feel
your gaze..
The music's
loud, the
stumble to
my feet. The
heat is risin
my pussie is
on fire. I
wander onto
the dance
floor.. I
devour the
beat, trickles
of sweat slide
down my spine.
You bump into
my direction,
our bodies
move with
I feel your
you breathe
beneath my
neck, touch
and yes
we kiss..
kiss. Our
dance like
you pull me
into you,
my hand finds
your waistband.
I whisper with
tender ease..
follow me
We stagger
through the
crowd.. feet
and heels
voices muffled
sound. Hand..
I pull you behind
as the door, I open..
shuts. Cubicle
open, door shut
behind. We fall
beneath the sound
of our hearts, as
we thump down
our seats. You
pull me to one
my hearts beatin
so loud, the fire
in my pants, my
clit in desperate
need of attention.
Fabric down and
aside. Your eyes
fixed like
cats eyes..
in the dark.
passion.. touch,
heat.. lick..
Arms stretched
above my head,
legs wide, buried
head beneath..
tongue, juices
imminent, flick
flick.. quick..
Nipples hard,
pain v pleasure,
equals 'Oh my
Legs quiver,
juices flow..
Orgasm coming
into land...
I bite my lip,
tremors flood
my emotions.
Every nerve
ending tingles
with spent sex.
You pull yourself
up to my face,
I taste my juices
tricklin down
your face...

Monday, 11 October 2010


Imagine if all retailers started makin their own condoms and kept their own name!

Tesco condoms - Every little helps.

Nike condoms - Just do it.

Puegot condoms - The ride of your life.

KFC - Finger lickin good.

Duracell Condoms - Just keep going
& going & going....

Pringles condoms - Once you pop you
can't stop.

Burger King condoms - Home of the whopper.

Andrex condoms - Soft, strong and very long.

Mcdonalds condoms- I'm lovin it.

Polo condoms - The one with the hole..OH FUCK!!

Sunday, 10 October 2010

I got that feelin

Like I'm going to sneeze.
Sore throat, weak knees.
My eye lids are heavy..
I've gone back to bed.
I keep checkin I'm
breathing..just in case
I'm dead. My joints
have started to ache,
my throat feels like
it's been ripped out.
So please behave
yourselves, I don't
have the energy to
shout. I got the
feelin.. it's hurtin
me to think, I know
I got the dreaded
lurgy.. everyone else
who lives here..has.
So for today I'm
stayin put.. duvet
cover pulled up..
tissues at the ready.
Pain killers by the
bed side.. I know
I only have a cold
but for cryin out
loud, I feel like
I could actually die!

Friday, 8 October 2010

Fuck me

Legs spread wide,
eyes tightly shut.
Come on baby.. be
my slut. Tease me
keep it hot. Finger
me good, finger me
hard. 'Oh my god..
I love you girl..
oh my god I'm
coming.' Yeah
do it baby, do
it well. Mmmmm
fuck my hole
you bitch...
fuck me hard.
Oily slit, rub
my juicy clit,
'yeah baby, yeah'
QUICK !!!!!!!!

Thursday, 7 October 2010

About Indi

OK so this post is different.
So I thought I'd tell you a
few things about
goes......hope you like!

1..My favourite hymn is Ave Maria.
(I can play it on the piano.)

2..I have a passion for purple..
(it is my protector.)

3..I am a great cook
(food is my passion.)

4..I love fresh sheets on
the bed, the smell of
red roses.

5..My favourite flower is
Freesias..white ones.

6..I adore anything to do
with motorbikes..

7..I love to be kissed
on the back of my neck.

8..I love the Paranormal.
Our house has a ghost.

9..I don't self harm anymore.

10..I love me... for once in
my life.

11..I love red wine. warmed.

12..I want to be seduced by
a woman, be given gifts
but not have an excuse
for them..

13..I love to walk in wet
grass with naked feet.

14..If I could have one wish?
What would I asked for..?

15..When I was little, my uncle
tried it on.. I've never
told anyone about it..till

16.. I like swimming in the

17..I can't stand liars.

18..My favourite country
is Canada..

19..I have a severe temper
but I keep it undercover.

20..I am allergic to housework
yeah right.. no really!

21..I am a fun loving fish.

22..I love smoked Salmon.

23..I have a crush on Spiky.
(but don't tell anyone ;)

24..I can play piano, guitar.

25..I love to eat pussie..
(doesn't happen much
these days!)

26..I have a new kitten.

27..I wish I could fly.

28..I don't trust reality.

29..I can write with both
hands AND with my feet.

30..I love the pain of
having tattoos.

31..I hate dental pain
(1 hour in the chair
today, £300 less in
my pocket.)

32..I would kill for my

33..I have very little

34..I don't care where
I live as long as
I have a roof over
my in my

35..I have loved many
women, broken only
one heart...mine!

36..I masturbate every
day %)..

38..I need to be loved
I have to feel

39..I love life.

40..Vanilla..I love

Night folks,
time for more

Tuesday, 5 October 2010


Turn it up,
feel the heat,
my groin is on
fire.. I've
got a wet
is my clit
is my finger
eager to
turn up the
heat.. erect
nipples press
against my
shirt..I love
to flirt..
She asked
me if I was
going to
the party,
'yes' came
my reply.
You? She
smiled her
She loves
the perfume
I wear.. I
am keen and
full of dare.
She has a
wicked smile,
we chat..
for a while.
I have to
go..she opens
the door,
our eyes watch
as our hands
heat is on,
I want her
up the heat.
Turn it on.

Monday, 4 October 2010

Black on White

Just a picture.
Black on white.
My heart beats
fast.. faster
when I see your
face. My mouth
becomes dry like
a sand dune..
caught fast
in a storm..
Blink, I
Stare with
almost had
you there,
will we ?
Could this
ever be..
some thing
more than
it numbs
the pain.

Sunday, 3 October 2010


Shit hits the fan.
Duck to avoid..I'm
not making sense..
can you tell? The
weather's turnin
cold again, but
my body heat is
hot, night sweats
not yet.. but I
feel they're on
the way. Achin
joints, swollen
knee.. Arthritis
fallin apart at
the seems. I
am headin for
Lead me not
into temptation
I know the way
myself.. (laugh..
applaud) smilin
at this reflection
starin back at me,
oh shit, duck
to avoid.. I'm
startin to rant
again... glass
of red anyone?
Yes please..
purely medicinal
of course. Can
I have another
one please?
I decided to
have a lazy
day today..
time to relax,
not make hay.
I felt guilty
for sittin
down doin
Jack shit..
Gotta keep
goin, gotta
stay fit. I
got out
the hoover
all through,
I'm tired
now.. will
this pain
cease? Will
I always
feel ill?
I can't do
this lazy
think I'm
going crazy!
I can still
make my words
rhythm.. from
time to time.
I just don't
have excitin
to say.. so
I'm rantin

Saturday, 2 October 2010


Ever had an unusual
text from a friend
who when you think
all is right..she
says 'think again!'
Oh no not tears..'
not yet, but wait!
She's going thru
one of those
phases when what
ever you say is
the 'wrong thing.'
Sittin in the
down.. it's startin
to rain.. I feel
her pain. I try
to say some thing
good... but it
doesn't work..oh
shit. Only this
text was different.
Of course.. it
would be. I'd had
a rough day, I
was tired, got
bloody wet, it's
poured down all day.
I could feel her
ache as I read
the words..oh
god, I've been
here before.
I'm your friend
don't ever forget
those words..OK?
She'd had a shit
two years..un
loved, you guess
the rest. I
have a shoulder
to cry on..the
window's open
it's still
raining. She
doesn't give
a monkeys..
here comes
the guilt..
I should be
thankful for
the man I got,
I do....what?
I told her to
back off..I
should have
seen it coming
as she threw
it back. I was
starting to get
slightly annoyed.
She Say's she
hates herself
more than I do.
I don't use that
word if I can
help it.. it
hurts. The
air waves are
quiet for now,
I miss her cheery
voice..words that
tell a story..
I mentioned that
I actually cared,
I'll wait to see
what happens..
but don't ever
forget my friend..
I will be here
waitin for my
phone to ring
that noise..
to tell me that
you're back..
and smiling
once again.
Don't be to
long.. it's
too quiet
without you.