Wednesday, 29 February 2012


It's looking slightly better for us.

The solicitor explained today that

we have tenants rights.. we have

them by the balls so to speak.

So for now we stay put, we will

not be pushed out of here.. time

for us to ease up, relax some

what. The off spring will have

time to take breath, they can't

find anywhere n say they can't

afford anywhere, I have a two

man tent I can lend them.. but

it doesn't come with a cleaner

nor cook, they'll have to do

their own work when they

leave, but for now we can

all stay pretty much put..


Friday, 24 February 2012


Home is where the heart is right?

This is where I moved to at the young

age of 22, newly married, with the

thought of living here forever.

This building is over 300 years

old, it has so much character.

Wet rot, dry rot, walls that

aren't straight, decorating

can and has been a nightmare

but that's old properties for

you. My hubby has lived here

for 44 years.. It's going to be

a heart wrenching experience

when we eventually have to move. Don't they say that moving house and divorce

are the two elements that really test your heart strings and nervous system?

I've haven't moved anywhere since getting married, this has been my home

since that special day 29 years ago come September 3rd 1983. I am soon to

re live that when we have to sell half our furniture and down size to our

soon to be new home/rented accommodation. I shall miss the black n white

solid oak beams that support this house, they are a pain to paint... where

we are moving to has very little garden... but it is right next door to a wooded

area. Peace and tranquility is what I'm looking forward to. The fact that the

pain in the arse of a so called neighbour we have in this house who finds it

nothing out of the ordinary to start up his tractor and work at strange hours

of the night... I will not miss him at all. We might be lucky enough to have

deer on our back garden when we move. Also I have to talk to my daughter

at some point/soon, very soon as she is under the assumption that

she is moving in with us......'NOT and NEVER going to HAPPEN!' My very

best of friends has offered to rent her spare room out to her. Put it this way,

that is her only option, she's not in a position to turn it down. So I'm in a

better frame of mind now. My hubby is a lot happier, well we've gone from

his boss tellin him he's got to retire and the worry of losing the roof over

our heads. I think we shall have a big furniture sale, make a visit to the

antique auction rooms and do some car boots + hire a skip. Life's never

what you expect is it. Oh yeah, I also have to sell my piano as we can't

find space for it, I've had it since I was 9. That I will need tissues for!

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Celebrations ...yay !!

My god how times flies.

Another year older yet

not so much wise..

I've seen so many

things in my life.

My love for my

husband grows

and multiplies.,

ten fold. As we

get to that place

where daffodils

smile and reach

for the sky.. I

take a breath

and realise how

wonder my life

is. How I've grown

to endure what

ever life chucks

at me, I've no doubt

been here before.

I've taken a new route

realising that a change

scenery would do me

some good. Tomorrow

I will be '51' smiling

on the inside and

and for once on the

outside too. I got

there, to the

bright golden haze in

the meadow.. happy

I am and Happy

Birthday to me I

shall be tomorrow.


Sunday, 19 February 2012

Panic Stations

Well the time has come for us to wake up and smell the coffee.
With another letter from his boss, and a date for another meeting
to discuss his job, our house, his money they haven't paid him..
the time is gettin ever closer to actually take a deep breath and
realise that we may not have a roof over our head for much
longer. We've both lost our appetites. I've got rid of the massive
headache I was carrying around with me last week. I'm sleeping
better but he isn't sleeping much at all. So we are kind of in limbo
right now... not sure what will happen next. The meeting was
originally this coming Thursday but it's now been moved to
this Wednesday as Thursday we're out for the day to celebrate..
like I/we feel like celebrating anything... my 51st Birthday!
We were going to go out on our m'bikes today for a short spin,
my idea was not to right now as he's not sleeping too well, as
you can imagine.. how would you feel if you were about to
not only lose your job but the house that comes with it, your/
our home!! Sick? Angry? Lost? Anxious? Betrayed? Shitty?
But to name but a few words to describe how I feel this
minute. I thought that because his/ our minds weren't on
the now... that riding a m'bike might not be a good thing.
You need to have your heads screwed on for that job, other-
wise you might lose our head/legs/neck/life!!! Our idea was
for him to work at least 3 more years to pay off our debt.
Now we're at that stage where we have to finalise our
finances.... tighten our belts.. he's even asked me should
we need to down load some items, to gain some cash..
would I be prepared to sell my 'Nitebyrd' m'bike? I
said yes but only as a last resort. I don't want to think
that far ahead.... so I'll keep my head up, try to cheer
him up, try to eat some thing and keep smiling, although
I actually feel like smackin his boss until he doesn't
have a heart beat. He's worked for him for almost 44
years. Has about 2 weeks off through accidents that
happened on the farm, he wasn't paid sick pay, his boss
never came to see him, he was only interested in when
he was returning to work (selfish c**t!) So as you can
imagine my hubby is feeling like crap as though
his boss is about to (and I know he will) crap on him.
I won't be moving in a hurry, this is my home, I've
lived here for 29years, he's lived here 44 years.
I want to cry, but I can't, I won't be reduced to
that..... not yet anyway. So roll on Wednesday,
oh yeah and if we go and the so called boss wants
our son out too, then it becomes even more
personal, our son and Daughter live here, they
will have to find other living arrangements, like
they can afford to live anywhere else, but that
will be a welcome wake up call for them, make
them realise at 25 & 26 mummy n daddy can't
clean up after them anymore.. time for them
to wake up and smell the coffee too. I hate
coffee... I much prefer tea!

Monday, 13 February 2012


Oh Valentine.. I reach out for you,
where? before me, naked... there.
Oh glorious be mine.. drink from
my veins, flourish..all that we can be....
immortal, divine.
Come to me....
For I love you with my

Wednesday, 8 February 2012


OK so some time I write a load of crap.
I have over the years talked a load of
crap... crap is in the air...
I think these meds are eventually
beginning to work...
For once in my pityful life
I've actually come to realise
it is OK to talk crap now
and again... I don't
actually anymore give a
flying crap...CRAP..CRAP
Got a nice kinda ring
to it don't you
think? Crap Crap Crap
crapity crap. And
this s what I do
alot of these
days is laugh,
laugh at everything
even if it pisses
you off big time, just
fuckin laugh.
:)> Indi
out. HA!