Monday, 24 January 2011

To Fart or not to Fart.?..That is the question.

I've got an appointment to night with some young artists.
Brushes at the ready, pencils steady.. shall we begin?
I posed for the same bunch of 6Th formers a couple of weeks
ago. The room I have to admit for the first time, like
forever was warm. They (fully clothed) were breakin out
into a sweat. I was just comfortable, unlike the pose
I had to hold for just under 2 hours. I've been a life
model for various art schools now for 20 years or so.
I'm very comfortable with my body and how it looks.
I guess I'm a bit of an exhibitionist..!!
I don't know what tonight's pose will consist of,
but for saying I've been on my feet all day..
I'm keeping my fingers crossed it's a sitting down one.
Finger's crossed I'm not standing up again. AND
the room is warm for me. Nothing worse than keepin
perfectly still naked in the same position in a cold
environment for any length of time. Cramp is a beggar,
pins and needles kind of annoys me too.. with a
subtle cd of light classical music I clamp my
focus on some thing for the evening, trying
my best not to fall asleep or think of sleep,
or FART!! Try that one next time you're in
a room not necessarily naked. and you need
desperately o let one out... just see how
long you can keep in hidden, or ways of
letting it go without anyone knowing,
from the direction of the noise that you
have FARTED !! It is in it's way an art.
How not to FART when in the company
of a bunch of strangers... Lol...
Depending on how the evening goes,
as to if any of the paintings are
good enough.. I may well take a photo
and post it tomorrow for you to see..

14 comments:

BamaTrav said...

Holy Crap!!! I just did a post on the same thing. Hahahaha. Blog Syncronicity,IT'S REAL I TELL YOU!!!!!

Don't I Know You? said...

FS had a full massage the other night. the only problem was, she was full of sbd's (silent but deadlies).

It's really hard to sink into a massage when you're also squeezing your anus, but not your butt cheeks, because for cryin' out loud, it's bad enough that you're sure something's hissed its way out without the dead giveaway of your butt changing shape.

FS doesn't even wanna try not farting while butt naked in front of a group of people.

Come to think of it, how would the added dimension of odor change the artist's perception? Ha!

nitebyrd said...

Oh! Indi, I never thought about that! LOL Probably the WORST THING EVER is knowing you have to fart and are trying not to!

No beans the day you pose! LOL

Indi said...

BT ~ Great minds tink alike ;) I believe you, but honest I didn't know about it.


Indi

xx

Indi said...

Don't I know you ~ I suffer from IBS and some days am jet propelled. have invented the do it yourself Jaquizi... like nitebyrd said.. no beans.. eat a whole tin of beas then go sit in the bath..heypresto Jaquizi.. Yeah and butt shape changing, how obvious is that one ??!!Lol


Indi


xx

Indi said...

nitebyrd ~ Oh yeah for sure NO BEANS ;))))))... sbd's silent but oh so deadly *pinch noses*


Indi


xxx

UBERMOUTH said...

LOL You have an interesting -albeit smelly-life.

Marnie said...

Better out than in. I always get busted...but when my daughter was little I was able to blame them on her...:0D

Christiejolu said...

I was going to say the same thing as Marnie! LOL!

Indi said...

UBY ~ You should see my full performance when I've had a balti !! Fireworks !! Lol

Indi

xxx

Indi said...

Marnie ~ ROFLMAO really, the poor child.... I some times blame my cat...yeah he has aweful wind... gasmask treatment... he never admits it though ;)


Indi

xx

Indi said...

Christiejolu ~ I knew when I had my kids.. one day I would be able to get my own back for all the sleepless nights they ceated a a baby !! Blame it on the baby's Lol


Indi


xxx

Leah said...

LOL.....oh Indi, tears are rolling down my face. I just can't stop laughing. This is the penalty I pay for having intestinal humour.

On a more serious note, I too have IBS and while we can laugh about the impact of farting, in reality it's not only painful but it's damn embarrassing when you have no control of when it's gonna happen. I control mine reasonably well, but it still gives me bad days. I just pray that I never get one when I'm meeting one of my 'friends' !!

Indi said...

Leah ~ If we can't laugh about the bodies let downs of noises then we are on the wrong planet! Some days when I can't go for a sh*t, whilst we're on the subject.. I feel like I could pass an elephant through a worn hole... no wait a minute I #ve got that one mixed up with giving birth (done that twice!) IBS doesn't kill you but it makes life pretty much feel like hell.. and the stench? Woowee.. pong!! I try n hold on and if by mistake I let one lose, I hum a quick tune to try n cover up what is obviously a smell from a noise that has obviousl come from my ass direction... *BLUSH*


Indi

xxx