And ???

And ... the first day I fell in love.
You wondered in, not a care in the
world. A slither of hair tickled your
face... you injected my heart with
a mixture of wantonness and love..
I took you for granted.. it wasn't
to be. I told myself it would work
regardless. Who was I fooling? Just
for the record... don't let this
go to your head... all things aside
I still love you, miss our chats..
the one's we used to share, me not
aware you didn't actually care..
what was I to do .. kid myself?
Then one day I suddenly realised
we weren't to be...........ever.
My world fell apart, you broke
my heart, but I can't lay the
blame. I have to admit my life
since then has never been the
same. So ? What am I harping
on about.. I know we never
were.. will never be..
Excuse me but 5.3% x 3
cans of cider later, my
feelings have emerged,
fatal.. because when
I have sobered up I will
read what I wrote last
night.. smile.. possibly
throw up. Alcohol ... my
right hand man.. but I
so long for the touch
of a woman. A quick
flick of my right eye,
wink.. smile that
foolish grin.. open
the back door, usher
you in. 'Cup o tea?'
Take a seat.. rest
a while.. nervously
I prime the kettle,
grasp a couple of
cups..'chink' eyes
wide open, shakin
hands..leaning against
the worktop. Arms
appear around my
waist.. you stop
me in my tracks, I
drop my hands to
my waist, slide
my worried fingers
over yours.. I
spy a spider there
in front of me..
I turn.. we kiss.
Your expression
with Crescendo..
I can hear my heart
beat in my ears..
So loud.. notes
of distinction.
Fully blown
distraction..
I can feel the
heat of your
mouth on my
lips..hold
back.. not
this time.
Am I dreaming?
Am I awake?
Please don't
stop.. this
was meant to
be.. hold me
close.......
don't ever let
me go.