Control

I've locked the door,
turned out the light.
My world has been
turned upside down.
I got in a fight.
He knocked me down
from behind, my tears
stung as though I
was going blind.
I did my best, I
kept my nerve, but
he was too strong.
I felt some pain
again and again.
The taste of blood
flooded my mouth.
Coloured rainbows
stabbed my brain.
I felt something
sharp cutting at
my throat. I tried
and tried to escape.
This happened so
quick, I felt the
urge to be sick.
I never thought
this would happen
to me. I hit him
hard..he felt the
blow as he stumbled
he momentarily let
go. I held my breath
my heart pounding
in my chest. I ran
and ran all the
way home. As I sit
here behind my
door I can feel
my whole body
shake. I dare not
move, I dare not
speak, my clothes
are dirty and torn.
I feel so weak...
I was so afraid.
I let myself go.
I can smell the
pungent scent
of piss, I lost
control. I lost
my nerve. I
thought I'd lost
all my tomorrows.