Friday, 25 April 2008

Suicide is painless

Feelings fermenting out of control,

repetitions over again.

My mind is in turmoil,

I've lost the will to live.

Sifting through fragments of flesh,

taring limb from limb.

Searing pain, agonising and cold,

sticky and sweet, rich pickings.

I'm not listening, I'm not making sense

my mind is in shut down.

fermentation: a mind out of control.

I've lost my footing, am slowly sliding in.

Don't pull me out, don't cry I did not die.

I'm in limbo, dangling on the edge.

Upwards is hard, downwards is easy way out.

I will not scream, I will not shout.

The first cut is the deepest,

the second flows with ease,

my hand is steady

my mind is clear...

I will not look, I hold no fear.

The clock is ticking, I have to go.

Don't cry or talk of love,

from that I came to this still morn..

lifeless, finished, empty and torn.

Love is full of demons.. each one

biting at my flesh, do not resist.

Giving, is for idiots, hypnotised and drugged.

Give your all, get nothing in return.

My eyes are full of tears,

I cannot focus, my vision's blurred.

I've given up competing, trying to please..

given up loving, no more the tease.

No more the fool, my heart is broken

shattered and torn, I'm done.


nitebyrd said...

You're not done. No. You're just starting. It might be hard to remember and difficult to forge ahead, but you will. You must.

Indigo said...

Thank you nitebyrd.. when I wrote this awful poem, I'd had a bad day of it, I almost feel embarrassed now to have written it, but that's how a I felt then. And it helps me to write these feelings down in what ever form it be.