Pain barrier

I'm thinking about having my nipple pierced! Now I know many of you might at this point be feeling rather squeamish, grabbing you tits and shouting at the screen 'Noooooooo...!' but I'm quite set on the fact that I'd love to have a large needle shoved through my pink bud of skin whilst gritting my teeth and trying to think of some thing nice!!! For many of you women out there who've experienced child birth, this is just a drop in the ocean..I've had tattoos in several places, surely having my tit done will be the icing on the cake!.It can't be that bad can it? So come on ladies.. let me know what you think. Should I go for it or not? The decision lies in your hands...Yay? or Nay? Let the voting begin...

Acceptance.

Hate me...

Loath me...

Bite me...

Cut me...

Hit me...

Scratch me...

bleed me...

Knife me...

Excite me...

Thump me...

Bruise me...

Fist me...

Abuse me...

Break me...

Degrade me...

Hate me...

Accept me?

Pleasure bound

My instructions for the evening were to arrive no later than 7pm. My nerves were in tatters, I couldn't eat my dinner, the thought of what was to happen, and woe be tide me if I was late.
The traffic was lousy, I was watching the clock every step of the way. This was my first visit so I had absolutely no idea what I was letting myself into. My stomach muscles ached. As I drove up the gravel drive, the tyres crunching on the stones. I pulled to a stop. The house appeared to be in total darkness, my nerves now in total tatters. My groin throbbed, as I opened the car door, turned to pull myself out of the car, swung my legs around, the tight fabric of my jeans caught the tender flesh of my clit sending wondrous sensations rippling through my body; i bit down on my lip, inhaled sharply. The time was getting ever closer. My hand shook as I pressed the door bell, my mouth was dry. I waited. It seemed like an eternity before some one came to open the front door. A man dressed in what appeared to be a maids outfit, answered the door. " come in and stand there." pointing to a chair just a few feet inside the entrance. He disappeared into a room. I was left standing there, not knowing what t do next. My eyes surveyed the intricate wood work of the furniture surrounding me. The door from where this 'maid' had gone, returned
looking rather flushed, red in the face. He hurried towards me. " Go through that door, she's waiting for you." I pushed the door open and walked nervously into the semi darkened room. My eyes adjusting to the dimly lit room. I kept my eyes low, watching my every step, my nerves getting the better of me. "You come here to serve me? " " Why are you still dressed?"
I stuttered, not knowing what to say, feeling terribly guilty of my crime, I lowered my head further to the floor. " Go out , undress then come back in and kneel before your Mistress."
"Yes?" ..." Yes what? " she scowled at me... standing there before this woman who was from what I could see, was dressed in a black basque, high heeled thigh length boots; and she wasn't smiling!
I hurried out from whence I came, unbuttoning my jeans as I walked quickly toward the door.
I couldn't get undressed fast enough. My hands were trembling so much it made my task almost impossible. Stark naked I hurried back into the room. My nipples standing to attention, a certain excited dampness between my legs. My mouth was dry, my palms, sweaty.
I was ordered to sit down in front of her, to lick her thigh length boots from the heel to the top, whilst keeping my hands behind my back. I'd never done this kind of thing before, but I soon got the hang of it. My nerves had settled down, my sex twitching for attention, my nipples hungry for a hot mouth. When I'd licked one boot I was given the same order for the other one. My tongue became permanently fixed to the smooth sensuous black leather, its intoxicating scent hypnotising me. My head, full of images of lust and desire. After what seemed for ever, my Mistress got up to admire her new found slave...ME! I was to do every thing I was ordered with out any protests, otherwise I would be punished! My mind went blank, my eyes started to fill with tears. I was led from the lounge out into the cold hall way and into the dining room; where upon I was to lie face down on this rather long cold wooden table. My skin shuddered with every naked inch that came into contact with it. My body was covered in goose bumps, I'd started to shake again. A blind fold was forced over my eyes, so plunged into darkness. My hearing became my every sense. I could feel the touch of what I could only describe as rope, slither across my ankles. Noises of feet against stone floors echoed in the next room. A hint of music fluttered through the air; Low tempo with an electric violin's ghostly haunt. I tried to relax but I was so cold and some what frightened, but not frightened.. excited and ready for some heat. That is exactly what I got. The smell of a lit match, the sound of it being struck, the crackling of the fire melting the wax candle.... the scent of vanilla. Then as the music changed, so did the tempo of ... " ouch "... the riding crop;it stung as it bit into my arse cheeks, I flinched, biting down on my mouth. Pulling on the rope, protesting. My screams were soon drowned out by a gag and ball pushed into my mouth.. some medieval contraption. Forcing my head up into an uncomfortable position, slobber dribbling from the corners of my mouth. "Struggle and you will receive ten more strokes, stay still and I will soon be finished. " My new found Mistress playing her part to the full... showing no mercy. Flesh with raised welts covering my arse, the warmth replaced by heat. Her hand stroking the end result of her handy work. Soon I was to be released from my restraints, led back into the lounge, where upon a log fire had been lit. The carpet felt like sandpaper on my bum, my legs ached, my ankles scared with the marks from the rope. My Mistress bent down and kissed me on my lips, pinching my right nipple, then stroking my face. The blind fold was removed and for the first time that evening I saw my Mistress.
Pain was some thing I learned to deal with, but for my discipline, I was to receive much pleasure.
That evening was the beginning of a very special relationship. I learned to except pain like never before. The more I got, the more I wanted.

Push the limits

Weather plays a big part in running. Today was overcast. I prepared myself for my journey, planned my route. Got dressed, did my usual stretching exercises, opened the door...to find.... it's raining! Oh well here goes nothing and off I went down the road. I'd had a stressful half hour previous, trying to get the computer to play some music and my temper had got the better of me, I was shaking I was so mad! My neck hurt, I'd had heart burn for most of the morning... brilliant conditions for running in. Once I had convinced myself that I'd soon start to feel the benefits and calm down, I did just that. I can remember all those years ago when I'd drudge round the country lanes, that once I'd got my breathing sorted, my mind became relaxed and I actually enjoyed it, even though my legs hurt, my feet throbbed, I did actually get a great feeling of satisfaction out of it. I haven't been out since last Wednesday and was itching to get out there again otherwise the few days work that I had done would've been for nothing. I surprised myself today and as a result I'm planning on another big run tomorrow, wet or otherwise. Since my decision a few weeks ago to run for cancer, I'd only actually been going a short distance, building up my stamina. Today I pushed myself further. I went to the roundabout and back, which is roughly one and a half miles, my breathing eased, my bad neck recovered, I felt great. A fantastic energy boost and a feeling of total euphoria rushed through my entire body, I was shaking by the time I had returned home. OK I'm hooked now. So regardless of the weather, once I've ventured outside come rain or shine I'm buzzing. Each day I will push the limits until I know no boundaries. My legs still ache, but it's a good ache, my appetite has grown also.

Trying to climb out..

Today was meant to be good. I'd planned it to be so, but as the day progressed I got more out of control. My feelings for myself began to melt. I tried so hard to stop feeling the way I did, but I couldn't stop myself. The first cut is the deepest, it releases the pain held back from years of struggling to be me. I 'm trying very hard to be me, different, I like. I wear odd socks on my feet. My trousers are too short but I'm OK, I'm different. I can cope, or so I thought. I found a piece, small enough to hide in my pocket, of hard plastic. ARrrrrrrrrrr the feeling is intense pleasure as I dig deeper into the abyss, which opens its arms and welcomes me with such content. I tell myself everything will be OK, I'm crying now.. am on the wine too. I look in the mirror and see this stranger, who are you? Am I you? Not one to cry out for help, I keep quiet. 'What have you done to your arm?'.. some one asks. ' Oh the darling pussy cat had a mad half hour and attacked me'... yeah I'm a compulsive liar too.. another of my faults.. well no-one's perfect, me? far from it. God what I'd kill for a cigarette right now.. two three four, it's passed now, that was a close one! I look back and remember my best friend who passed away last year, she smoked she had cancer and yes you've guessed it, she died!!!
Let's hope tomorrow is a brighter day, I think I need therapy, nope, been there done that, couldn't cope with it. They kept asking me why I felt like I did. I gave them the answers they wanted to hear, not knowing the real answers myself. That didn't work either... Shit happens

Fly me to the moon...

You planted a seed in my heart

and there it would stay..

I loved you from the first time I saw you,

right up until that day...

I kept on loving you even when we were apart.

I kept you safe and warm

in the centre of my heart.

You were my universe, my world.

You gave me so much pleasure

accompanied with the pain

you were my sunshine, even when it rained.

My world was always sunny

you made me laugh, you were so funny.

You were my red rose and I your sunflower,

You dressed in black leather, you had the power.

You gave me an appetite to feed on..

you were my day and night

The time we spent together

100% pure Rapture.

For I was your slave and you were my capture.

I'd have given my life for you

if you'd have been in danger,

but there was no fear of that.

I loved you and guided you

you were my shining light.

I'd take you on a journey to

Venus, Jupiter and Mars

up above the clouds..kissing the stars.

No boundaries

I'm at my most vulnerable when I've had some alcohol, listening to rock is a must too....What I here you ask? Pain. Self inflicted is the best, the adrenaline rush is awesome. But to get the full effect of pain is, it just keeps coming, the sharper the implement the better, the deeper the cut depends on how drunk I am, like a sedative. Yes I used to be a user, or in English terms... a 'cutter.' The best time I ever had was when I broke up in a relationship a few years ago. Shit happens. It nearly finished me, came close to ending it all. Am OK now but still feel the need every now and again to feel the rush.. when I get rock bottom. I have certain areas of my body that I go for, areas that are less likely to show, having said that tattoos are a good cover up. I can talk about it now because I've got a hold of my life ( tears flowing now!) Am fine really! Need another drink, don't worry the knives are safely put away. The other kind of pain I love is when I'm tied up and whipped with in an inch of my life by another being and saying 'FUCK OFF' no more.... laughing now, god I love to shock and I'm on a roll now! Slurp!!South Australian wine... fuckin great wine. Now where was I oh yeah... flesh ripping blood soaked sleeve. I'd been in a long loving awesome relationship for almost five amazin years with this shit gorgeous woman. The times she's handcuff me to the ceiling, blindfold me and tease me, god.. putty in her hands. I never gave into the pain barrier, never used the safety word. This makes me stronger, this builds my immune system for future references. I can take anything ( but dental pain ) LOL!! I have an amazin tiger tattoo covering up some pretty impressive scars. When I need a reminder of what I used to be, I run my fingers down the tigers face. My tattooist recognised them and fully understood my past without questioning me. He said the tattoo would cover it up, but it doesn't repair the emotional side. That's the kind of people I like, folk who understand me, know where I've been and know where I've come from. Those were the days, sad really 'cuz I kinda miss the adrenaline rush, feeling in total euphoria but I got a new kinda rush now.. she's called Dragonfly, my motorbike. I hope never to go down the lost road of cutting up again, and if I do I may not be so lucky next time! So until the next ....adios

And the award goes to....

'Thankyou' for my nomination Jackie. I've never been awarded anything in my life... so you can understand how happy I am! As for the seven random facts...here goes.

1. Once I walked 175ft backwards down the outside of a building .
2. I'm scared of heights!
3.I Love pain...!
4.I've done the London Marathon.
5.I learnt how to water ski in the Gulf of Mexico.
6.Have eaten chocolate covered ants!
7.I've hand fed pink flamingos in Morocco.

There that wasn't too difficult. I'd also like to nominate for this prestigious award, three other fantastic bloggers. My first goes to Jackie Adshead for her awesome erotic pictures and everything she produces, these images blow me away. My second goes to Lucy Felthouse who has me in stitches every time I visit her blog... keep them coming girlie. My third and final award goes to Scarlet the harlet for all her fabulous work..well done Ladies.. I raise my glass to you all.."cheers"