Sexy Saturday - Euphoria

With the sun in your hair,
the touch of your skin..
I can feel the heat
penetrate with euphoric
measurement deep within.
Take my hand, lead me
to your bed, suck on
my adornment, let me in.
Seduce my mind, devour
my thoughts.. come lay
down your world.. you
don't need it no more.
For I am your lover,
your babe, your chic,
I wanna escape this
turmoil we're both in.
Turn off the light,
close the door, I have
a space for you next
to me on the floor.
The fire is lit, hold
tight my lover for this
is it.. the journey
has just begun...
from here on it's
fun, fun, fun, fun.

Push the limits

Weather plays a big part in running. Today was overcast. I prepared myself for my journey, planned my route. Got dressed, did my usual stretching exercises, opened the door...to find.... it's raining! Oh well here goes nothing and off I went down the road. I'd had a stressful half hour previous, trying to get the computer to play some music and my temper had got the better of me, I was shaking I was so mad! My neck hurt, I'd had heart burn for most of the morning... brilliant conditions for running in. Once I had convinced myself that I'd soon start to feel the benefits and calm down, I did just that. I can remember all those years ago when I'd drudge round the country lanes, that once I'd got my breathing sorted, my mind became relaxed and I actually enjoyed it, even though my legs hurt, my feet throbbed, I did actually get a great feeling of satisfaction out of it. I haven't been out since last Wednesday and was itching to get out there again otherwise the few days work that I had done would've been for nothing. I surprised myself today and as a result I'm planning on another big run tomorrow, wet or otherwise. Since my decision a few weeks ago to run for cancer, I'd only actually been going a short distance, building up my stamina. Today I pushed myself further. I went to the roundabout and back, which is roughly one and a half miles, my breathing eased, my bad neck recovered, I felt great. A fantastic energy boost and a feeling of total euphoria rushed through my entire body, I was shaking by the time I had returned home. OK I'm hooked now. So regardless of the weather, once I've ventured outside come rain or shine I'm buzzing. Each day I will push the limits until I know no boundaries. My legs still ache, but it's a good ache, my appetite has grown also.

No boundaries

I'm at my most vulnerable when I've had some alcohol, listening to rock is a must too....What I here you ask? Pain. Self inflicted is the best, the adrenaline rush is awesome. But to get the full effect of pain is, it just keeps coming, the sharper the implement the better, the deeper the cut depends on how drunk I am, like a sedative. Yes I used to be a user, or in English terms... a 'cutter.' The best time I ever had was when I broke up in a relationship a few years ago. Shit happens. It nearly finished me, came close to ending it all. Am OK now but still feel the need every now and again to feel the rush.. when I get rock bottom. I have certain areas of my body that I go for, areas that are less likely to show, having said that tattoos are a good cover up. I can talk about it now because I've got a hold of my life ( tears flowing now!) Am fine really! Need another drink, don't worry the knives are safely put away. The other kind of pain I love is when I'm tied up and whipped with in an inch of my life by another being and saying 'FUCK OFF' no more.... laughing now, god I love to shock and I'm on a roll now! Slurp!!South Australian wine... fuckin great wine. Now where was I oh yeah... flesh ripping blood soaked sleeve. I'd been in a long loving awesome relationship for almost five amazin years with this shit gorgeous woman. The times she's handcuff me to the ceiling, blindfold me and tease me, god.. putty in her hands. I never gave into the pain barrier, never used the safety word. This makes me stronger, this builds my immune system for future references. I can take anything ( but dental pain ) LOL!! I have an amazin tiger tattoo covering up some pretty impressive scars. When I need a reminder of what I used to be, I run my fingers down the tigers face. My tattooist recognised them and fully understood my past without questioning me. He said the tattoo would cover it up, but it doesn't repair the emotional side. That's the kind of people I like, folk who understand me, know where I've been and know where I've come from. Those were the days, sad really 'cuz I kinda miss the adrenaline rush, feeling in total euphoria but I got a new kinda rush now.. she's called Dragonfly, my motorbike. I hope never to go down the lost road of cutting up again, and if I do I may not be so lucky next time! So until the next ....adios