Thursday, 10 June 2010

Happiness



Out with the old and in with the bright shiny new necklace. The glass one is the one I've re housed... for the minimal price of £20.00, yeah great price. The metal one above however is my latest necklace, I purchased it in Whitby, it specifies new life, new love.. foundations.. good health.. and most of all is happiness... not bad really as I only paid £3.99 for it. Hanging it on my hand maid with love and affection leather string, platted with these fair hands with the finest of black leather. I love it's simplicity.. it never leaves my side. Just waiting to exchange the glass effort.... I'm glad I've sold it, it got saved from being smashed beneath the weight of a hammer.....
I've had a shit day at work... no really a bad day, honestly you have no idea how I'm feeling just lately. It has nothing to do with the weather. I am so fucking fed up of people who DO NOT know me, say it's my age. I have a list of symptoms that the menopause can have on your mental state. Tiredness, emotional state, crying, depression, aching joints, headaches, hot sweats, mood swings. So I thought I'd make an appointment to go have a friendly chat with a female doctor next week and get a large dose for happy pills, see that helps. I don't wanna get stuck on some pills that I end up feeling dependant on, but I have no alternative really. Unless any of you out there can help me.... So whilst I'm figuring how to shake myself out of this abyss (move over nitebyrd.. am coming in) and a Canadian holiday in just over a weeks time... I am doing my best to find myself. Yeah I can hear you saying, wake up for god's sake you're not dying, slap yourself in the face wake up, stop moaning!
OK so I slap myself in the face several times, it hurts and I feel stupid, my face stings, reddens.. the palm of my hand also stinging... I wait for the good to happen, for me to recover... half an hour goes by and I feel nothing, if anything I feel more depressed 'cuz I've just slapped my fuckin self in the goddamn face thinkin it would make me feel better... so that goes to prove one thing don't it? I'm fuckin mental.. end of!!!!
Any how I have nothing to say that will get you all going ' ooow that's hot or ooooow nice' I haven't got anything else to say that is of any importance really... well not until next time whenever that is.

8 comments:

The Invisible Seductress said...

I like the new necklace. And I too need some happy pills. I have written 3 posts about how my life sucks and why.. And it's serious stuff,, but I don't post it because I just want people to smile when they read my posts ya know.I don't know how to ask for help,, been that way all my life.It's time to learn..man it all gets trapped up in my head and I wanna explode.. I am sensing you feel this way now..keep smiling Indi...You are in the middle of a chapter,, there's a lot of "book" left to enjoy.. If that makes any sense...sigh

Christiejolu said...

Being in a bummed out mood sucks for sure...The new necklace is pretty! Hope you feel better soon...

Indi said...

The Invisible Seductress ~ Yeah that's how I feel too. I don't like writing about it either, but I've got the good words stuck in a void some where. I came close to exploding yesterday, and the folk I work ith could sense I wasn't my isuahapy self, they had this worried expression on their faces. Thank you what you said does make alot of sense.

Indi

xx

Indi said...

Christiejolu ~ Thank you .

Indi

xx

Leah said...

Darling, please stop beating yourself up. I don't know how old you are but menopause is bloody menopause. Maybe you need HRT not happy pills. I've been through it and come out the other end as I am now. Still sane, revaluated a few things, more selfish now, still working, still bloggin', still getting good sex. Be very very kind to yourself, go get facials, massages, some pampering. Love yourself girl.

Indi said...

Leah ~ I tried HRT once, well twice it was awful, so I decided to go solo, so far so good, then I hit rock bottom.. I've had bad thoughts about certain people, I'm having problems from a certain young lady who I gave birth to 24 years ago, for my sexuality, she is punshing me. Some of the things she says hit way below the belt... I haven't decke her ass yet, but it's just a matter of time, what with my temper and lack of hormones. could do with a massage some well deserve TLC uz o one else bothers. Bt thanyou or your advice.

Indi

x

nitebyrd said...

Love the new necklace! I always have an extra seat on the couch for those visiting the abyss, Indi.

Maybe the Canadian trip will help you shake some of the crappy feelings. Let's hope so!

Indi said...

nitebyrd ~ save me a seat hun on the rocky road to the abyss ;) Yeah I think the Canadian trip is just what the doctor ordered. I cannot wait. I am actualy counting down the days. It's 4 years since I had a holiday out of the UK.

Indi

xxx