Adios

Today is the last day you will see me on this bog.
Tomorrow at 12 noon I will be catching the train to go down to London
the start of my holiday, a long journey, a tiring journey, one I
have been looking forward to since last October when we booked it.
We fly at 7a.m Thursday morning to Toronto then on to our destination
Winnipeg. I don't know how I will cope with the added heat, mosquito's!
But I class this as a holiday of a life time I will get to meet my
husband's relatives for the first time. They aren't tall people, apparently
I will tower over them, but I can't help being 6'tall, I take after my
Father. OK so the photo isn't Canada, it's of Whitby, but it's the only one I've
got with a sea view so it'll suffice. I will be taking hundreds of Photos,
camcorder movie shots. Buying possibly lots to bring back. I am starting to
become exited now.. due to my appetite has diminished, it always effects
my appetite. I have packed and re-packed the cases. And how it's all changed
since the last time we flew. Ever thing has to be in re seal-able clear
bags. Not allowed to put a mini padlock on the zipper. So all the ironing I have done may have been in vane should the security staff go riffling
through it?! Marvellous. I have a small bag as hand luggage with the valubles
in it. The will be welded to my right hand throughout the journey. So.......
here it is. Three weeks of seeing Cananda. Adios people. Don't enjoy your
lives too much whilst I am away sipping fine wines, soaking up the sun and
basically doing 'JACK SHIT' ;))))))

Indi

T.T.F.N.

'Smile'

Today I have been to the Dentist.
I was brave, I had one filling.
I have a fear of the dentist,
it stems back to when I was a wee
child. A big black chair, a mask,
and at the end of it a large tooth
with massive roots on it. I got
more than the usual that night
from the tooth fairy! I have
very sensitive teeth. I hate
large or small needles.. I hate
the dentist full stop. I have
been experiencing pain in my
mouth due to having had a brace
when I was about 14 years old.
Back then it wasn't a fixed brace
it was able to come out at night
so I could wash it. My bite
wasn't altered after that, so now
my teeth don't bite where they
should leaving sore swollen gums
inside my bite. I have decided
enough is enough. I hate my
smile, I very rarely show
my teeth, apart from having
fillings! Now the bad part
is yet to come. I can't get
it on the NHS as our practice
turned private a few years ago.
Another money makin spin off
from our 'wank' government.
So....... I will have to pay.
And this is where is gets
painful. To have a complete
mouth rehabilitation process.
Ten at least crowns, veneers
a new tooth to fill the gap
I have from having a tooth
removed years back. A new
bottom plate, and a lot of
visits, a lot of pain..
a hell of a lot of injections
to numb the teeth whilst
they grind them down to
almost nothing.. This is
where I start to feel
SICK!! £5,000 will be
the bill for this
very , much needed
procedure. It won't
happen over night
either. I don't
want to end up
having my food
liquidized because
I can't chew. I
find it difficult
even now to chew
food, I take twice
as long as every
one else.. I was
happy before
I went, now
I feel some
what slightly
depressed.

Deleted

For whatever life throws at us,
we cope, we mend, then we walk
away. I have mended and now
I shall walk away. This is
not an apology, I am not
that sad. You practice
what you preach. You
make your bed, you lie
in it. I wish you no
harm anymore. I have
recovered my sanity.
I am a new person,
I didn't like the
old one, it had memories
of you in it. Like I said
I have mended, I have
moved on. I do however
wish you a good life.
I am OK with wishing
you that much. I will
no longer think of
you, mention your
name, nor remind
myself you & all that
you gave to me. For
everything you ever
gave to me no longer
exists. I have wiped
my life of you.
Delete this if you
wish. I have deleted
you.

Home Sweet Home

Home is where the heart is.
Where memories are cooked
flowers are laid, smiles
and laughter come gift
wrapped, inlaid with
gilt edges, paved with
love. Dusty cobwebs.
Heat rising, dishes
laiden with food fit
for a king, children
crying, babies muzzle
new teeth biting, toys
of joy bursting into
life..childhood growing
adult hood beckons soon.
Verbal abuse, character
playing, all good fun,
and when the day is over
all chores completed
and done, sit back a
while, smile.. for
hard work though it
may be.. this is what
we planned, you .. me
and dependent..make
three. Education..
recreation..blood
sweat n tears, they
leave us in ore,
we created this
tiny adult, girl
then boy. Brother
and sister full
of untold joys.
Home is where
it all started,
where the plans
were drawn up.
This is it, my
life so far..
I am in love
with it, me.
As for the
girl n boy,
adults now
they be. Own
lives to lead.
Education
eventually
paid off, a
Lawyer she now
be.. all grown
up.. am I so
god damn proud.
Son has a talent
for making
things out of
wood, I knew
he wood!! Upon
the farm is his
real time job,
getting up early
coming home
covered in !!!!
But they all have
their own ideas
of what life is
all about, or so
they think. They
have their
moments of
lettin off
steam, kicking
screaming n
shout. But when
all is said and
done, there's
the memories,
the day they
first took that
step, from then
on I've never
looked back. This
is how I live my
life, two kids,
now adults with
a husband in tow.
I'm happy for what
I give in life,
I have a fabulous
husband, I love
my life. Home
is where the
heart is.

6 Years Past

Hand prints on my heart,
from where you came, I
can't quite remember
the night you walked
through the door. Waltzed
across that wooden floor.
The wooden floor we danced
across, the same night I
felt you dance across my
heart. One step forward,
and 6 years past, I had
this uncanny feeling
we wouldn't last. The
music, the track we fell
in love to, still plays
in my mind. The tears
have gone, replaced
anger, jealousy..none.
To think we had it all,
one step forward.. 7
years dead.. I used
to get this tiny
flicker of you in
my head.. that
flicker is just
a memory.
I always used to
wonder how..how we
came to this. No
regrets. I'm glad
we were, but now
I'm so happy
we're not.

Holiday

Today is the start of my holiday. I shall return to work on the 19Th July, until then I am not here, will not be sending any post cards but will be doing plenty relaxing, drinking (the folk we are staying with make their own wine, he has his own wine business) go fishing in his own private lake, have B-B-Q's, sleep in their log cabin in the hills. Basically enjoy ourselves so much we have to do it all again the second week and most possibly the third week. I have never had four weeks off in one go before, I am in much need of this Holiday of a life time in Canada. I will actually be here until Tuesday evening after that I will not post on this blog. I will not miss the Internet, I am also leaving my mobile phone at home, the idea is not to be contacted by anyone at any given time. BLISS!!

Pride of Place

I had three of them..
paintings from long
ago. I tried sellin
them on the Internet
but no one wanted to
know. I tried giving
them away, church
fair, garden party
galore. But every
one I know thought
I was being a bore.
So I had an idea..
the frames came
from my pocket, so
I ripped them apart
took out the offending
art, replaced them
with photos of my son.
And when I was done,
placed them in pride
of place for everyone
to see. So I made
good of the frames
got rid of the rest,
I won't be selling
these frames, they
show what I represent.
My family who I love
with all my heart.
Tigers n stuff..
torn apart. Fodder
for the fire. No
longer my desire.
No money for my
charity, but you
know me I'll raise
it some how, but
for now, I sit &
stare at this
fantastic photo
of my son. I'm
proud of him..
'Oh yeah!'

Tit

Come suck on this.
Come lick me quick,
take your time, savour
the flavour..roll
tease..give chase
to my tit. Inhale,
impale your tongue
it's OK nothings
wrong with a bit
of tit, come suck
come play with it.
Trace the outline,
imagine it's a
lollipop. Cherry
flavour, sticky
and sweet. Chase
the colour pink,
suck, nibble..
lightly chew, not
to hard, it's
sensitive, like
you. Erect .. now
hard.. tease me
please me, suck
even harder..
yes HARD!! Mmmm
yyyyyeahhhhhh..
Oh gggggod, you're
so goood. Don't
stop.

Picture this

A couple of weeks ago I attended the local art class.
I being the model. I always love to strip off in front of a class full
of artists. Set the pose for the evening, find a comfortable position, fix my eyes on a spot so as not to lose concentration and fall asleep. This picture was done with chalk on a piece of beige paper. David, the guy who runs the art class, has produced this rather excellent picture.. I'd like the finished piece but we ran out of time.. next time maybe I'll ask David if I could keep it. Some thing else to be proud of .. hang on my wall. I have one painting already on my wall from Allen, an elderly man who is very good. I asked him once if I could take a photo of the finished piece on my phone, he actually gave it to me. ;)
I don't know much about paints, crayons and the such but I do know a good painting when I see one. The artists there are very talented. They range from students to 70+ all with varying abilities. Come tea break I slip my dressing gown on and wander round to see how they have drawn me, some I have to smile at.. but some I am in absolute Ore of. I did actually have a go at drawing once... but I find it easier ( though it isn't) to sit perfectly still. Something most people find very hard to achieve.

Happy Birthday Spiky Babe *Sunday* 13th June

This is for my very best of blogger friends.
Spiky is celebrating her 30 some thing birth
day on Sunday *tomorrow* June 13th. I know
this because she told me months ago so I
made a mental note of it. I also remembered
it as it's the day before my Dad's birthday
he is 76 years old on Monday. I shall go see
my papa on Monday with a nice present for him.
Anyway I'd like to *in my best singing voice*
sing happy Birthday to you Spiky... just be
glad you can't actually hear me. I know I
can sing, but for the lesser musicians out
there, they might not agree. However I do
want to wish you a 'SUPERB BIRTHDAY' may all
that you wish for... come true.. with every
thing in your life, may you have a healthy
life, may your children be healthy...
may you and your girl sort things out.. been
there done that and survived. Unlike you I
actually moved on, but this isn't about me,
this is about you my girl. I hold you close
in my world of love and friendship... from
across this huge wet pond to you in our
Mother land.. Spiky I heart you. You bring
out the best in me. You give me strength
to grow on. You are my shadow on dark days
and my rainbow on sunny days. Be happy ..
and if all else fails... phone me..yeah?
No seriously If all else fails, buy a descent
bottle of Californian red wine, warm it,
although I believe you like to drink it
chilled... run yourself a hot bath and relax.

*H*A*P*P*Y *B*I*R*T*D*A*Y *S*P*I*K*Y


Indi


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Happiness

Out with the old and in with the bright shiny new necklace. The glass one is the one I've re housed... for the minimal price of £20.00, yeah great price. The metal one above however is my latest necklace, I purchased it in Whitby, it specifies new life, new love.. foundations.. good health.. and most of all is happiness... not bad really as I only paid £3.99 for it. Hanging it on my hand maid with love and affection leather string, platted with these fair hands with the finest of black leather. I love it's simplicity.. it never leaves my side. Just waiting to exchange the glass effort.... I'm glad I've sold it, it got saved from being smashed beneath the weight of a hammer.....
I've had a shit day at work... no really a bad day, honestly you have no idea how I'm feeling just lately. It has nothing to do with the weather. I am so fucking fed up of people who DO NOT know me, say it's my age. I have a list of symptoms that the menopause can have on your mental state. Tiredness, emotional state, crying, depression, aching joints, headaches, hot sweats, mood swings. So I thought I'd make an appointment to go have a friendly chat with a female doctor next week and get a large dose for happy pills, see that helps. I don't wanna get stuck on some pills that I end up feeling dependant on, but I have no alternative really. Unless any of you out there can help me.... So whilst I'm figuring how to shake myself out of this abyss (move over nitebyrd.. am coming in) and a Canadian holiday in just over a weeks time... I am doing my best to find myself. Yeah I can hear you saying, wake up for god's sake you're not dying, slap yourself in the face wake up, stop moaning!
OK so I slap myself in the face several times, it hurts and I feel stupid, my face stings, reddens.. the palm of my hand also stinging... I wait for the good to happen, for me to recover... half an hour goes by and I feel nothing, if anything I feel more depressed 'cuz I've just slapped my fuckin self in the goddamn face thinkin it would make me feel better... so that goes to prove one thing don't it? I'm fuckin mental.. end of!!!!
Any how I have nothing to say that will get you all going ' ooow that's hot or ooooow nice' I haven't got anything else to say that is of any importance really... well not until next time whenever that is.

Price of a Smile

For now I can not find a smile.
I've looked but it appears to
have left. As when I was a little
girl I had to wear a brace, my teeth
have always been crooked, picked on
and bullied all through school life.
Being tall and skinny didn't particularly
help! Well the time has come for me
to decide that enough is enough, I
no longer wish to hide, my smile I
have to recover, for my shine has
left my soul and simple tasks like
eating is not so easy anymore. With
gums that tend to be raw through teeth
that don't actually bite, I've been
known to lie awake in pain... at night.
A trip to see my dental surgeon on
Monday, a pointer here and there,
no price is mentioned as yet but
I'll have to rob a bank to pay
for all the work but you can
put a price on a smile, I never
have done yet. Like I said
earlier eating is a pain,
I've lost almost half a stone
in less than two weeks.
So now I have set my sights
high, I want my teeth to be
straight. I want to be proud
of my looks, I need my smile
back again.

Strawberries & Cream

Sunrise, sun fall
tickle me - tease
me. Suck me gentle
then full on hard.
Savour the flavour
of strawberries and
cream, I've got the
juiciest nipples
you've ever seen.

Tuesday's Poem

Tease 2 Please

Sitting on my bed,
eyes focused, hair
neat upon my head.
Fingers poised and
ready, angle steady.
Ease back the hood
that conceals this
dagger, rub gently
...tease, aim to
please..sensation
staggers it's way
north. South to my
feet and north to
my brain...'Oh my
god' I mumble,'this
is driving me insane.'
Pace steps up a beat.
Muscles flexed in
feet, toes pointing,
hips grinding, breathe
in and hold. Orgasm
knocking on my door.
Over the edge I rise
to my surprise, I
scream with untold
delight. My clit is
singing, raising the
roof. Choirs n angels,
the devil himself.
The intensity is
unbearable.. and
then I peak......
'YES!' 'YES!'....
.........'YESSS!.
A few minutes later
I stagger to my feet.
Legs still trembling
with penetrating spent
heat. Falling against
the frame of the door
feet firmly pressed
on the wooden floor.
One last greedy rub,
clit still fresh
from the mornings
fun. Couple of
strokes should
suffice..'Yes...
YES!' 'YYYESSSSS'
Oooooow .. arrrrr
that's nice!
All done.

Play with me

Come lay beside me a while,
let me enhance your smile.
Remove your inhibitions..
take a seat, touch ...
pause. Let me engage
your senses.. dazzle
your mind. Tease a
nipple, taste your
wine. Roll around
euphoria, dance
amongst the stars.
Remove your clothing
one by one.. lay down
beside me let's have
some fun. Close your
eyes, imagination
is all it takes
and when I hit the
spot, you shall
awake. You can
trust me, I've
done this before.
Come open your
legs.. I have
all the time
it takes..open
your mouth,
scream and shout.
Feel the heat
rising, the
tingling in
your veins
I can feel
your heart
beating faster,
you will come
again..and..
again....
and again.
Throw wide
your voice,
embrace this
love I give.
Tears cascade
your face.
Love shall
keep us warm.

DV8

DV8 was the name of the gay bar.
I entered it with open arms.
The floor was concrete flag stones
naked from decoration. Naked and
cold. I on the other hand was hot
and so ready to discover my new
world, full of loud music thumping
in my heart, sweat building on my
brow. My heart raced to keep up
with the rhythm of the night.
I was on another planet, a new
stage. Eyes searched my sight,
my legs trembled, my feet
danced, I was born again.
Steam clouded the atmosphere,
my eyes stung. I was sober
but my thoughts were not.
She stood there... in the
corner, just stood and looked
at me.. from there to here..
at me. I checked her out, falling
from the stage, my legs like jelly
throat dry. I licked my lips and
smiled.. I motioned a drink holding
this imaginary glass to my lips.
She nodded yes.. I smiled. We
drank, eyes wide, she pulled me
this way and that.. we kissed..
I opened my eyes, I was dancing
on the stage.. I checked
the view... bodies everywhere.
Had I dreampt it? I don't know..
but did I really care? I was
here in this gay bar called
DV8...

Diamond

Yesterday I helped a fello work mate carry some heavy bags. Out of the blue. I remember her telling me earlier this year how she'd had so many months off for much needed surgery and how she still had to take it slowly due to takin it easy. Some thing you just can't avoid in this job whatever your title. So today I just happened to mention.. as I witnessed her struggling with 3 heavy bags.. 'hi Jo how are you? Should you be carry heavy stuff yet?' She almost crumbled to the floor with the obvious weight of these three bags. A heavy sigh passed her lips, a which point I asked where she was heading for?! I carried one of the bags, leaving one hand free to get the gates and my keys. We chatted along the way, apparently she's had knee surgery. I never prompt anyone to tell me, that's their business, if they want to tell me then albeit. We eventually arrive at HB3, she told me I could leave it here and she'd manage the last couple of yards. She said I was a 'Diamond' for helping her. It made me smile, that is such an old fashioned term of phrase.. but I realised then I was 'cuz am always sparkling! Just some rambling I wanted to share.
I am however in the process of writing a poem for a Friend at work. She has a Birthday tomorrow, so I'll have to shake a leg tonight or some time today at work ( whilst I'm daydreaming .) Lol. I have an idea for how I'll make it.. just hope she likes it, she has no idea it's happening, but her co office work mates do! Have a lovely day people, the sun is rising here...the time is ticking away so I'd best get my ass into gear and get of to work (what joy).

Indi

xxx

Tuesday's Poem thingy ;)

Day dreaming

Today ... the first day back at work
or should I say wonder, for I did
most of that, I'm good at making it
look like I am busy... busy? Yes busy!
Busy thinking about my next venture.
A venture is my plan of action..
how to and when to... how to attack
and how to defend. I like to keep
my audience waiting... it's all in
the 'anticipation' apparently (smiling)
whilst typing. I don't brag about
what I do. I don't force people to
buy, I don't ram things down their
throats... I am just me...simple,
not. But 'I' can and I do from
time to time let it slip that I
have some thing up my sleeve,
not my arms although they are
amongst the fabric of my heart.
My heart being this mass of red
stuff that pumps blood into the
very essence of my life. I.. if
I were a man would not marry but
I would should I have the ability
to fall in love... lead her a
merry dance. Feed her the fruits
of my love... ease myself gently
at first, then once I had my hand
upon her heart, find my hand
slowly at first but then with
heated pace.. down into her
panties where the energy lies.
If I make sense of this now then
my plan will go well, should it
not? But I will not fail, I have
this untold ability to wander
from time to time.. day dreaming
I call it... busy? Why of course!
I am however a full blooded woman
with a heart of gold, fire in my
belly, fear of not knowing
where this may lead me.. I
shall work my magic one day.
I will fall... in love, she does
not yet know it, for she does not
know yet I exist.. but I will
take my time... for time is
everything, and I will get
my everything. It's just
a matter of time!