Goodbyes

I never looked behind me
when you said all your
goodbyes, but I'm still wiping
away the tears that stung my
eyes, the misty sunsets, the
heat upon our flesh, I blink
and there it is, still fresh in my
mind. I run my fingers through
my hair, close my eyes and
wish that you were still there.
Lie naked in clean cotton sheets.
my nipples..hard, my heart...
weak. Can you feel where you
used to lie... I can taste you-beside,
I fight with the pillows, hold them
to my face, I can smell your
perfume....there's just a trace.
They say that time is a healer..
but I don't really know.. it's been
only a week now. Your photo lies
upside down on the shelf...
should I move it, I can't bring
myself. Maybe it's too early yet.
I'm still in the 'God I don't know
what to do stage.' Some days I just
sit and cry.... others I'm full of rage.
I can't make any plans, I don't want
to move on, I'm OK sitting here..here
where we used to hold hands. Used
do a lot of things, used to do's, don't
happen any more. The day you left
me, you broke my heart.