Thursday, 5 March 2009

She's out of my Life

October rain saw the beginning of a beautiful relationship, it blossomed into a colourful flower... with scents that fulfilled my everything in life. We laughed till we cried, I gave you my heart and now it has died! From some where we have drifted, not knowing quite how. I feel lost and alone..down and unbound. Should I ever love again, I feel it may never be, for you were the one for me... then but not now. I remember the first time we kissed... with total abandonment. The very first time we touched, the goose bumps of lust that en captured my soul. For every time I think of you, my emptiness multiplies ten fold. A walk in the country, hands in my pockets, shivering like snow flakes, melting in kisses. I think we lost each other due to circumstances beyond my control. I lie awake at night wondering where it all went wrong. How can I pick myself up... I am lost and no longer strong! The knives of resentment knock at my door, I feel wounded...abused... unloved.... !! My story was to be til the end, for me I thought that was forever. Forever is an awfully long time... I hope I will endeavour to hold on to what we had, the memories still haunt me-at night I can not sleep. I miss the touch of your skin, the sweetness of your kiss. I said my piece last night and again today, have re-read the message, my emptiness won't go away. I shall retreat into the darkness, ignore the world..try to understand...
I haven't quite got my head around all this yet. Have become numb with intense regret. I'm on the wine, tis full bodied and red... just like our life was before it became.....dead!

2 comments:

Loving Annie said...

Ah, Indigo... My heart goes out to you for that raw pain and loss you expressed. I remember feeling that aching emptiness, that sense that part of me had died, that there was no joy left, no hope... I think it is as deep a void as losing a child, for our lover IS our whole world, and now there is nothing to fill the space where warmth and smiles used to be.
((hugs))

Indigo said...

Loving Annie~ ........... I have no answer to that but thank you for your kind heart felt reply