Forgive me

There are times in our lives when we open our mouths without engaging our brains first. Over the past few days I've done just that, and lost the one woman in my life. I'm now regretting ever having said what I did and wanting her back! I don't hold out much hope either. I have felt empty, remorse, guilty, ashamed... a total cow! If I could rewind that fatal day, believe me I would. I hope and pray that she finds it in her heart to forgive me, even if we stay just friends. I am after all human.... but it doesn't alter the fact that I said some true... but very hurt full things to her, even though I was provoked. She kept telling me she had mixed feelings, when I asked her what? She would just push it aside, or give me a strange look. Both our emotions have come to boilng point of late. She had every opportunity to tell me what she was thinking, she should have sat me down and said ... look we need to sort a few things out! But she didn't and in the heat of the moment, when my heart was racing... my temper too... I said what I said... If she is reading this story then .... Please forgive my stupidity, thoughtlessness....

I don't think I can go on in my life knowing that she hates me. Hate is a strong word... I prefer to use the word dislike. I am feeling very uncomfortable at the moment. It takes a real person with feelings and emotion to admit when they are wrong... I am that said person.