.....Like a woman scorned! I have, and still am dealing with the 'loss!' On Tuesday when I realised the empty void in my life that was once filled with 'her' is now nothing-ness. I was and had convinced myself that that is what I wanted.... I was on cloud nine. I felt elated that I had my sanity back, I was celebrating in a way, that usually in that state of mind all I want to normally is kick and scream and rant and rave, throttle the f*ckin bitch to hell and back. But no! However the last day or so I've suddenly come to realise that the emptiness is not so good any more!
I'm assuming that this will die down soon, just another shit awful emotion that I had hidden away from normality. I said in my last blog.... she drove me mad with her silly voice, her damned noisy snoring that absolutely pissed me off, her bone idleness, 'OH' and using me, so why do I feel like I do? Don't get me wrong I don't want her back... god forbid! I had to laugh to myself today, I was out in this glorious sunny weather on my Yamaha FJR 1300 motor-bike. I called at the local super market in my black leather jeans crash hat n biking jacket, parked my bike, slid my lid off, re-arranged my hair only to find this rather dishy looking female staring right at me. God that made me SMILE big time. I realised that I may well have been dumped for whatever god damn reason that crept into her silly little head, but I can still pull the glances, I am still 110% female..in or out of black leather ( Leather has to be black!!) I smiled at her and she wandered off in the other direction... I smiled to myself every 5 seconds. I'm slowly letting go, the demons haven't left me yet, but with women still lookin at me the way that one did... I won't have any problems. I can still pull... I will wait a while before entering the gates of the Divine world of drop dead gorgeous women, then I shall play the field, take my pick.... Have fun once again, and maybe............................just maybe fall in love, but that scares me right now. I was beginning to think I would never find my true love. I know now I just have to look further a field.