Thursday, 19 March 2009

Shit Happens!

I know from past experiences that breaking up with some one you love can drown your heart! From last October when I supposedly fell in love with this woman, she felt the same and we did all the usual things, fast and furiously. We couldn't get enough of each other. She said she loved me and I her! But I'm assuming that through every break up, we get stronger? I'm not saying this makes me a hard faced bitch, but I was officially 'dumped' on Tuesday of this week, but I'm on a high. I feel almost relieved that it's done... She was all for me last week, saying she couldn't live without me and wanted me in her life. But just recently I've been feeling distant from her. Her birth sign is Libra, and to be honest she could never make a bloody decision about any thing, and used that on many occasion. I would ask her about some thing and in whatever mental state she was feeling, I'd get this silly stupid childish voice...'Why?' Which did my fucking head in. OK so I'm venting anger now, is this all part of the process? Shortly after we got together last year she asked if I'd go on holiday with her,so I agreed, was looking forward to it. Unbeknown to me, the place she had chosen was where she went with her previous girlfriend, of ten years.. so my mind started to play games with my thoughts. She had always said horrible things about her ex, who by the way was my best friend-she died two years ago. OK so she's still hurting from that relationship. The story gets better, she has had in the past a man in her life, he's on and off the scene with her, so I felt like I was being used. Oh and on my Birthday weekend which we'd planned for ages, for me to spend with her, she told me the Friday night that she had mixed feelings. Why the hell didn't I get my things and leave there and then?? A couple of weeks ago she dumped him too. Then fuck me if he isn't back on the scene... see where I'm coming from? Yeah! Couldn't make a decision.. Sunday I sent her several text's on my phone and got no reply! At about 9pm that evening she decides to reply saying she couldn't get a signal and or her phone service was playing up. Right I thought, this is it, she's come to cross roads in her life but can't decide which way to indicate... or just may be some one has been telling her that I'm no good for her and to dump me?! I ignored her Monday, thought I'd give her some of her own medicine... Tuesday morning I sent her message asking... Hi babe what time you want collection for dancing tonight?Xx... I got back...... pity we can't be just friends instead of lovers? can we be just friends... my reply was no! So after that told her I was and never would be again going dancing!! End of relationship. Well and truly OVER!! GOOD RIDDANCE!!
There -have got it out of my system.... time not to reflect on what I won't miss, I hope she is happy now, 'cuz I sure as hell am. Just one last thing.... Am so relieved to be out of that mess.
I can now get on with my life. I've had my lot of bad luck, I'm hoping to avoid any more this year or for the rest of my existance on planet earth.

7 comments:

Spiky Zora Jones said...

WHOAS! I had a chick like that...she was messed up and made me like that too.

i was so glad to be away from that relationship.I remember getting a letter from her...Odd. My sister gave her my address...She wanted to get back to gether with me after 3 years...OH HELL NO!

I tossed it in with the other rubbish. I'd rather stand in front of a train. It would cause less damage. hehehe.

I think you are in a good place...be well, heal and get on that bike and ride free babe...wish I was riding with you...as in behind you. I don't know how bto ride a bike.

Ciao sweetie..

Indigo said...

Spiky~ thanks hun, I was starting to feel messed up in my head. She obviously has issues but she aint takin me down with her. I wish you were on the back of my Yamaha FJR 1300 babe, I'd ride into the sunset with you, show you the way....Tc xx

Compulsively Yours...for now said...

ok she could have totally done that so much better, that was a really messed up way to break things off but as you know i am sure, if she is that hot and cold well..... she is only gonna bring lots of both sunshine and rain. and i think you would rather have more sunshine and little rain. let her have her man he can deal with her now.


breathe, in with the blue out with the red....

Indigo said...

compulsively yours...for now~ Yes I totally agree what what you've told me. I think she's actually done me a favour, in saving me my sanity! I was and have been a hi for the days past of our separation, and as hard as I try I can't quite get her out of my head. I've dealt with the hate, rage, name calling.... I feel lost and empty, but I have to beleive that that will pass and I will see the light at the end of the tunnel...eventually! Thank you

Bruce said...

you just need a distraction. usually sex will (if only for a short period) take my mind elsewhere and help me deal better with the pain of a breakup. i recommend noncommittal sex whenever possible-it keeps you healthy, or--it should.

Compulsively Yours...for now said...

whooopsie

bruce is my son, he was still logged in apparently.

Indigo said...

Hey Bruce~ thanks... will keep that in mind!