Saturday 1 January 2011

Trust


I have to gain your trust.
I can't feel anything from
my waist downwards right
now. My leather jeans are
stuck. Pain gathers momentum
whilst the slightest of
movement penetrates my
brain telling me not
to move..wait for the
ambulance to arrive..
The young police woman
stares at my legs..
I hold tight her hand,
my eyes become blurred.
I need to pee. The sound
of sirens deafen me.. like
fireworks on new year's
eve. I close my eyes
and inwardly with
power and determination
repeat 'the Lord's prayer.'
Our father who art in
heaven... darkness fell
that day. I've been in
another universe. I can't
get used to the wheels
on my chair. I tried
a wheelie yesterday,
with the whole ward
watchin with baited
breath.. I regained
my trust, but I know
it'll take me a lot
longer to trust my
nerve. That light
at the end of
the tunnel? I felt
the heat from the
bulb, I turned the
light back on.
Death will not
take me away,
not just yet.
When I am feelin
brave, I fill the
bath with hot water
sit and stare at
the scars..they
will not repair.
I have no feelings
my legs are dead.
My head still aches
for the bike I know
in my heart I will
never ride again.

10 comments:

KrippledWarrior said...

Oh my God, no! Please tell me this is just some pithy, ethos. My heart is heavy and filled with prayers for you. Please write to me, you have my email, and Facebook info.
Kurt

Indi said...

KP ~ have no fear this is just a reaccuring night mare... I thought if I wrote about it .. it wouldn't haunt me anymore. My legs still work, my mind is on over drive.

Indi

xx

Playfully Yours said...

Omg, I held my breath and my eyes were full. What a nightmare. I am so glad you are ok!!!!

PY

The Savage said...

Oh my.. that about broke my heart! Lots of love and riding your steel horse this and the next several thousand years...

Indi said...

PY ~ I held my breath when I wrote it, and again when I re read it. I'm hopin this will never happen to me or anyone else I know. Human emotion is a strong element when used in different ways..thank you


HNY

Indi

xx

Indi said...

Savvy ~ I have every intention of riding hard and fast on the roads of planet earth.. I have many blind motorists to piss off yet, the one's who don't see us, the one's who see us but still try to run us over, knock us off..cut us up... thanks for carin


HNY

Indi

xx

UBERMOUTH said...

Bloody hell Indi, you could have warned us this was a bad dream sequence. I just about passed out!

Thank God you're okay.

now I KILL YOU!

:)

Indi said...

UBBY ~ Hey (smiing nervoulsy) yep OK so now I'm guessing? it's too late to warn you it was a bad dream sequence?? But you now wanna kill me? Throttle up and VROOOOOOOOOOM .. I'm gone!!


Indi

PS. sorry I frightened any of you.

xx

red.neck chic said...

Uber said what I was thinking. LOL

Girrrrllll - I 'bout had a heart-attack and I'm reaching for a kleenex.

Beautiful writing though! *sniff*

Indi said...

red.neck chic ~ my mind goes into over drive some times.. did you ever read the poem about rape? That was on the same basis as this one, gritty.. fiction, has you on the edge of you seat.. makes you reach for the tissues. Sorrydarlin didn't mean to make you cry.


Indi


xx