Finger's crossed.

Today I went for my 'Pre-Opp Assess.' I had the works. ECG, blood tests, MRSI tests, weight,height,BMI, a lot of medical questions. Have I had CJD? (mad cow disease) Mooooo..!! I told the nurse that I had a fear of sharp objects like hypodermic needles.. but she was great, I hardly felt the little 'prick' she mentioned. So while every body is counting down the remaining days until Christmas, I'm doing so but for obvious reasons... my operation. I've been advised that when I go for my procedure that I take a night bag. Then the news came that if they can't for some reason administer the 'Epidural' into my spine, 'Ooooooh' can't wait. I'll have to have a general anaesthetic, which means I might have to stay in over night!!
I don't think I fancy waking up on Christmas day in hospital! Although I wouldn't say no to a nice sexy nurse in a tight low cut dress, bed bath? Yeah... I guess I'm pushing my luck, but a girl can but dream eh?
I have a fear of hospitals. I hope that the operation goes well, they manage to freeze my leg, and I get home before lunch on Christmas Eve. But.. I'm looking forward to 5 days of doing absolutely 'Jack Shit' for the entirety.

After Shock

Last Saturday I had a strange lump appear on the inside of my left thigh. I thought nothing of it, put it down to a pulled muscle or some thing! Taking care of it, I purchased a tubular bandage and proceeded to wear it. Sunday came and went, I went out on my bike... again... no problem. However on Monday morning, I still had the swelling, but this time I had quite a lot of discomfort with it. I made myself an appointment to see my GP in the afternoon, which left me the day to hobble around work. Still I wasn't in the slightest bit worried... 'sore' .. but not worried. The time came and I arrived at the doctor's surgery. I went in to see my doctor, who after a few moments of me describing my predicament, and peeling off my trousers to show him the offending swelling, he was getting slightly fractious. I was told I had to get to A&E a.s.a.p! Oh and take an over night bag because chances are they'll keep you in! He was convinced I had some thing called DVT. Still staying calm, I asked him what this DVT was exactly. Deep vain Thrombosis. I still didn't understand the full extent of this illness. I sat in the chair with my trousers around my knees, smiling at the doctor, and could hear myself almost laughing.... with hysteria. Was I going ever so slightly mad? After he told me in broken English that I could well be in danger, he mentioned a blood clot.. my lungs... and if we didn't get to it damned quick....... most certainly DEATH!! Scrambling to my feet I dressed myself, while he phoned the hospital and arranged for me to be seen as soon as I got there, which was some eight miles away. As I was told that I was not to drive; however I'd driven there in the first place and had been fine, but my friend put her foot down and I think we may well have broken a few speed limits a long the way, but all in the name of life!! Apparently it was another risk factor to drive in case a part of the thrombosis broke free and travelled into my lungs creating a blood clot. By now you'd have thought I'd be panicking, but even with the mention of possible death, this word had sailed right over my head, I hadn't fully digested it, it hadn't SUNK IN!! The doctor typed me a letter to hand to the hospital when I arrived. My friend kept asking me if I was OK? I just smiled and said, " Yeah " and I that I was hungry. I hadn't given what the doc had said.. a second thought! A short fat hairy man called my name, I followed him into a small room. Details were taken, name etc. Then a young student nurse came in and proceeded to give me an ECG, which checks the heart.
So there I am my t-shirt lifted up to my arm pits ( good job I'd shaved them the night before), wired for sound, cables dangling from my limbs. I made light conversation with the young woman. All done and I sat up waiting for the doctor to come back. " Can I go now please " I asked. His expression said it all. " I have to take some bloods before I can say what it is you have wrong with you." I took a large gulp and started to shake! I can't stand needles and told him so, he told me it wouldn't hurt. Why oh 'WHY' do they always say that? They are lying, it always hurts.... " just a little scratch" like hell it is!! I winced as he eased the point of the needle into my vein, I grimaced..."all done." I had to return to reception and wait for the results of my bloods. I chatted with my friend, my stomach rumbled for some food. Two hours later and nearing starvation, my name was called. I wandered off in the direction of the doctor, sat back in the cubicle................
The good news is that I don't have DVT, I'm not going to die. I had however got some thing called Thrombosphlebitis. In broken English means inflammation of the veins, which run the full length of my left leg, yes I am a freak!! I hate them!!!
The only thing good to come out of this episode at the hospital is the urgency for my varicose veins to have the much needed operation to remove them they are unsightly, painful, sore, itchy, ugly, inherited!! My week has been uncomfortable at work and at home, I've had added interest from work colleagues as to why I'm limping. Some how I don't think they believed me when I said I'd been attacked by a man eating leprechaun ?! Painkillers and anti-inflammatories seem to help, although I have a new prescription for stronger pain relief.
Today I realised just how lucky I was.... had been! What I have isn't life threatening, but all the same it isn't very nice either. It's a good job I went to the doctors when I did... or the story might have been .... well let's not dwell on the what ifs? But today I've felt very low, almost emotional, totally relieved that my out come was superficial. Today the reality HIT home. I think I need a good cry, but unless I hit my head or stub my toe, I can't see that happening. So now I await to hear from the medical centre, and fingers crossed it won't be too long. I want rid of these grotesque veins .... I want to have normal legs, pain free legs, legs that I don't mind showing off. I don't even go swimming any more, I think people are staring at me.

Faith

The past few weeks have been some what traumatic for me. I haven't been very good at handling my life, throwing myself over the edge in more ways than one!!
Today was a tough one. I had had an emergency appointment through from the hospital for an eye problem I thought I'd over come last week-when I had suffered a hemorrhage at the rear of my left eye. With the massive headaches that attached them selves to me, stress and ample amounts of worry, I headed for trouble...big time!!
I couldn't sleep last night , had lost my appetite.... all in all..... I was a mess!! BUT ... and there's always a BUT!.... There's a light at the end of the tunnel! I arrived early for my appointment, sweaty palms and thumping tension head to boot. More eye drops that stung like hell, then more drops to dilate my pupils AND more bright lights to look into my eye cavity. All of what I experienced last week, so I knew what to expect. The consultant has no idea why I had the hemorrhage, and wants me to come back in 8 weeks time for another check up, with no doubt the fabulous stinging pain numbing drops!!
However it doesn't stop there. I had some blood tests last week. The large discoloured bruise still visible on my arm, along side the puncture mark the nurse assured me would not hurt ( SHE LIED!) My next obstacle is to go to my own doctor and figure out how to eat better... as one of the blood tests reveal I am ' Border line ' DIABETIC!!!!!!! Does it get any better? So that is my life in short. I still have the headaches, more due to tension due to the eye pain- some thing to work on with some medication no doubt I will survive and wonder what all the fuss was about. My eye sight is ok, for now. I intend getting my eyes tested and buying some new glasses.