OK so now I've had a ticking off by my daughter last week, I have had time to re think my strategy. When you hear the words.. similar to I'm the worst mother and where on earth have I got these mothering tactics from?! I have to admit I had a problem with keeping a straight face when she lost the plot, I mean...yeah.. I'd be some what pissed off if my mother told me I was going to lose the roof over my head, as she and her brother are going to be in the same predicament when we eventually move. To be honest I'm looking forward to not having them live with us forever... and after mentioning that when me n their dad are in our old croaking age, dribbling and living in adult size nappies... they kind of decided to go look for some where now. Aha... I got them right where I wanted them.... I mean I've worked in a nursing home many moons ago... I'm not cut out for it... I admire the people who do these jobs. So they now have to go look for some where to live. Sharing is their idea... two rooms of course. My darling daughter wasn't talking to me for a while... no problem there then. I took a look at the way she treats me and for once put myself in her shoes. Took a look at this situation from another side. I had a chat with her yesterday, told her I wasn't impressed with being told about my mothering skills, told her that really cut to the bone, hurt my feelings. I told her I was going to try harder, after all we all have to live under this roof.... but some time we will say our goodbyes (may throw a party) and start living our lives in a peaceful tidy home...'ours!'
I work 40 hours a week cleaning at the jail...a job of which I love to do but of course by the time I get home I'm usually pretty much fucked! I don't appreciate coming home to find a sink full of other folks dirty pots piled high in the kitchen sink., let alone try to figure out what I have to start cooking for dinner. I had an idea which I knew would fit perfectly in to place. With calm of voice I 'asked' both of the offspring to help around the house, if they see dirty pots in the sink, wash them for me.... I didn't shout... I figured that if I don't sound angry and raise my voice I'll get a better result. I'm on better talking terms with Laura now, she's 26 on Tuesday. I'm not keeping my fingers crossed for this to work every day but it's a start. My nerves are way better these days... I can still look after myself and won't stand for any crap! This morning Laura , her dad and I went to our local town for a game of Badminton... great fun... it's been at least 10 years since I played it... but it soon came flooding back to me... I beat her 11/2. I beat the hubby 11/6 and several games after that I practiced my back hand... I might not be able to climb/fall/crawl out of my bed in the morning... We have booked another court next Thursday evening...
2 comments:
Your daughter is lucky to have a mother who will communicate these things. About not appreciating being criticized, about wanting cooperation around the house. It's so important to the two of you being able to have an open, honest and healthy relationship.
tattytiara ~ thank you.. it isn't always easy but we appear to be getting there
Indi
xx
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