Thursday, 3 December 2009

Elation

OK today I faced my fears. I went to the Breast clinic for a mammogram. It hurt.. but I expected it would... I swore... I knew I would! I apologised after using the 'f' word... I have manners. I went in just before my appointment and sat in the waiting room. I was the only one there at that time, but the room soon filled up with unsuspecting patients of all ages and sizes. My name was eventually called. I was shown a small carpeted room, told to stay there and the doctor would soon be in to see me. The walls were plastered with diagrams of breasts. Information about cysts and other problems. About five minutes later the door opened and a shortish well dressed man walked in and introduced himself as Mr. Rogers the consultant. He sat down and preceded to read my notes. I was nervous to say the least. I had sweaty palms and a dry mouth. He then asked me if I knew why he wouldn't do my varicose veins? The reason he asked this was because he is the consultant for the Breast clinic and the Varicose vein clinic that I attended earlier in the year. This was the first time I'd actually met the man, at this point I didn't tell him I'd gone to another hospital and was having them done in three weeks time! He told me to strip off all my clothes above my waist and lie on the couch.. this I did. He had warm hands and as to ease my nerves I commented him on this, but he didn't smile!
He did however notice the ugly snake tattoo on my right arm and ask me 'what was the meaning of this?' I paused and replied...'it's a long story!' Like it was any of his god damn business anyway!! He couldn't find the cyst but said I'd have the mammogram anyway just to make sure. I still wasn't convinced I was in the clear. Any how the nurse was very good at trying to lever my breast from my body on to a cold slab and proceed to squash it... at that point tears formed in my eyes and I swore at her!!
If you've ever had one of these then you'll understand where I'm coming from! Four times this happened two on each breast. I dressed again and went back into the waiting room which by this time was over flowing with women.. and the occasional screaming child. Flicking through year old magazines not really reading them just checking the page numbers and glancing at the pictures, my name's called out and I find myself in the previous small room. I'd been at the Breast clinic just over two hours and was getting rather hot n bothered, but judging by the colour of the sky outside I would soon cool off when I left the building. Dark skies were forming, rain was on the way. Mr. Rogers was accompanied by a nurse this time... which made me slightly uneasy.. he explained that every thing had gone well.. every thing was fine and the reason I was suffering with a painful breast was due to A. my age
B. lack of hormones & C. I'm in the category of 'painful breasts.' Some women get these problems and I'm one of them. He wrote down the things I can do to self aid this. Cut out caffeine, take oil of evening primrose capsules 320mgs a day for the next twelve months, reduce chocolate intake (I never eat the stuff,) take Ibuprofen for the pain, wear a firm bra (of which I already do). So all that unnecessary worrying has worn me out. BUT .... if we/I didn't worry about some thing that is so close to my heart (literally) I wouldn't be human. I thanked the doctor and proceeded to shake his hand. Yes I am going to live... YES I am so going to have a large glass of wine tonight... YES! YES! YYYYYYYYYYYYYESSSSSSSSSS I'm happy. I'm still in some conciderable discomfort but I now know that it's not dangerous and I'm not going to need surgery, I'm not going to die young.... 'OH MY GOD!' I so want to jump up and down with joy but I can't my breast still feels like it's been ripped off and used a a football and put back on!!I'd like to thank all my friends out there in blog land for supporting me and giving me hope, helping me to understand. You were there with me today Secretia & Spiky, I don't know if you heard me but I spoke to you both quietly under my breath. I am totally 'Elated.'

17 comments:

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Hi baby...I was waiting on you to teell me this good news. I already knew it cause I'm in tune with the universe. Not really...I just prayed alot and sent my best energy to find you.

Oh I know about that damn pancake maker. It hurts but it isn't so bacd the second time...have you considered asking for an ultra sound, that doesn't hurt at all.

baby...i'm glad you are okay and if you find that you don't have any wine to sip on...Uberbabe and I drank it all.

I mean we had one bottle then two...and god knows how much more we had...After 2-1/2 glasses of vino I'm always tipsy. I woke with uberabe next to me. So if you find my black delicate lacy panties and bra....I'll be back to pick them up.

later honey...I'm so glad things went well.
xxx

nitebyrd said...

This is the BEST news! I'm so happy for you and glad you're okay.

Drink the wine and be joyful, girl! You deserve it!

UBERMOUTH said...

Great news. I thought of you all day today!

Aurora said...

very good...

Indigo said...

Spiky ~ well your best energy worked :) I guess you and UBS beat me to the wine!! I've just had a huge meal n a large glass of red wine... I've just woken up. Hey it should of been me removing your black lacey bra n panties... with my teeth !!! Me a likkle devil now I knows I aint dying .. er .. but I was a likkle devil before too hehehe... thanks babe xx

Indigo said...

nitebyrd ~ hi there hun, how ya duin? I've drunk hic hic the wine, I fell asleep too but I did wash the painkillers down with the red stuff.. was I meant to? I love a happy ending xx I'm so glad I'm fine now cuz I still got a lot of people to piss off in my life time.. thanks hun I do so appreciate you. and the others xx

Indigo said...

UBS ~ I thought of you at the clinic holdin my other breast!! It kinda put a bloody great grin on my mind :)

Indigo said...

Aurora ~ Thank you :)

viemoira said...

Glad that everything is ok!

greekwitch said...

I am so glad everything turned out to be fine. I am sorry it was a painful procedure though. I have heard it was painful, but for you, who have already been sore, it must have been torture.
You do not eat chocolate? How?Why? Any kind?
Have a lot of fun, i hope you will feel better physically soon.
Brighest blessings, love and light.
Georgina.

Indigo said...

viemoira ~ Thanks hun, I'm glad yesterday is soon to be a distant memory

Indigo said...

greekwitch~That's the word I'm looking for 'torture!' I haven't eaten chocolate for 10years or cheese or drank coffee, the three main ingredients that can and do give me torturous migraines.. if in doubt leave ot out. Thank you for your care and love & light & blessings. Today is another day, I'm still taking strong pain killers and intent buying some evening primrose oil capsuals tomorrow...

phallatio said...

I'm so glad everything went well and that you are all in the clear. I have friends who've had masectomies and, although they're holding up well, I know they've been through a trauma.

Indigo said...

Aurora~ thank you so much :)

Indigo said...

phallatio ~ yes I was very lucky to escape with a false alarm.. better safe than sorry though. My friend Sue had her lump removed but didn't lose the whole breast, she had chemo n radiotherapy, her life was f*ckin horrible, throwing up the time, ill n always tired and off her food. We go through such crap to stay alive, but I'm glad we do, I wouldn't be with out her.

Don't I Know You? said...

weighing in late...FS says hurray for your good news.

FWIW, that magic event of menopause provided Flat Stanley with instant relief from painful, lumpy breasts.

Getting older has been absolutely wonderful for all kinds of reasons. That's one of, errh, two of them.

Indigo said...

Don't I know you? Hello:)Yeah I'm enjoying maturing.. (getting younger)not older. I've started taking oil of eveing primrose apparently it's good for bad breasts and joints...oh goody. Hi flat stanley, my breasts are two good reasons too for staying alive.
Thank you for callin in