After careful thought and a lot of worrying over the years, I think I've finally figured 'it' out! It doesn't matter what people say or think, it shouldn't bother me. It used to. I used to think that any passing comment was aimed directly at me, some thing I'd done wrong or said. I've spent a lot of my life treading carefully around family and friends in particular, planning what to say , how to build a conversation, thinking ahead what they might reply, would I take offence? The answer to this is yes I'd take it to heart, get down, let it eat me away, destroying any self confidence I ever had inside of me.
Just of late I've for some miraculous reason taken exactly the opposite approach. Things are looking better, I don't give a damn any more what the general public think or say... they can go to hell for all I care, AND I'm not short of telling them that either! YEAH ... I've grown up in a sense, realised they can't help the way their tiny little minds think,. I know from the warmth that I feel inside of me that I'm OK with whatever life hurls at me. Shit happens.. it hits the fan some times, I just got to learn to duck down when it takes off. So my life in general so far is starting to take shape once more. I stray off the beaten track on occasion but this is to be expected, god... I'm only human after all... aren't I?