Thursday, 1 September 2011

Highs & Lows

Nothing changes
my lack of feelings
have gone away..
they say it's the
medication...
it's not that
I'm staying
awake.. I can
sleep for
England but I
awake feeling
totally shattered.
Time will tell
if the meds
have got it
sussed..some
days I feel
almost good,
then whack..
I've taken
two steps
forward and
several back.
I'm constantly
tired.. got
black circles
under my eyes.
Yesterday I
was laughing
and joking..
I thought it
had worked..
It had not,
today I felt
worse.. still
no alcohol,
I've even lost
weight.. I'm
so counting
on the meds
actually
performing
some kind of
miracle....
the doc says
it should make
a difference in
a couple of months!!!
Hell shit three
months is a long
time, I'm hoping
this so called
miracle appears
pretty soon so
I can crack open
a long awaited
can of beer to
fuckin celebrate,
if it's not too
late?!!

6 comments:

UBERMOUTH said...

Anti-depressants do not take a few months to work,they take weeks. If you're not feeling a remarkable difference within a few weeks, I'd ask for a higher dose or a different medication.

BamaTrav said...

Ubes is right. I take Lexapro, but I take it because of a social anxiety disorder if you can believe that. You can drink on this particular med though. It is an anit-depressent but also treats anxiety. I think it has help me. xo

Indi said...

UBS ~ I'm hopefully going to see my doctor tomorrow if I can get in.. ask for further advice.. I still don't feel like living! I've even lost my sex drive... given up smoking...alcohol..... and for what?

Indi


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Indi said...

BT ~ You on AD's? Well there goes the story, never judge a book by it's cover eh? I have lost weight through not drinking... I don't really need to lose any more weight or else I'll be in trouble.. I'm so glad it's helped you...so I'm not actually falling apart, I just think I am?xo


Indi


x

BamaTrav said...

Please don't fall apart, the world will lose a loving soul and there are few left. I believe weight loss is normal when you quit drinking, as it is fattening. I know if I stopped I would lose my gut, yes it's there, little as it may be but it's there. I will be praying for you. Like I said, I'm not depressed, I just have trouble talking and interacting in social situations, that is, unless I am half drunk. xoxo

Indi said...

BT ~ I have to hold it together my Father's back in hospital... my mum and he both need me, I'm thinking maybe it's a sign to say I can't go yet... I have bought a packet of double sided razor blades, they are amazing for removing hard skin...for now anyway


Indi


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