Lucky Escape

For some considerable time now I've been feeling some what low! Not sure about how I've been feeling this way but I've come to the conclusion it's either an iron deficiency or the lack of hormones!! Either way I'm gettin on with dealing with it... HOW?? Alcohol!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm startin to get a liking for red wine. For years I didn't ever drink it, I'm hooked on it now... to the point of nearly every night I look forward to a drink with my dinner. Well tonight I'm well n truly trollied! Although I'm bordering on almost sober, due to the almost good typing.. without too many mistakes. Tonight however took a turn for the worst... not to go too much into detail, I've been very pissed. I'm startin to think I have a problem? Tonight I've drank almost a whole bottle of some nice red bird, er... bottle! I've had a good day at work although I'm hung over in love with several women... several? yeh! I like to keep my options open, not that they even know I even exist! I'm rambling now... SO why and what am I talking about. Too be totally honest I'm not really sure, like I said earlier I've kinda lost the reality on life just lately. Tonight I came so god damn close to getting a sharp implement and doing some major damage. I tried so fucking hard to control my destiny... I tried so fucking...........................................................! Yeah am back again, sorry, hey shit... no! I'm not apologising for no one, I gotta get through this my way... how? I have no idea, but I can't go back to my old ways, I can't.... I nearly did tonight but it was a lucky escape for sure.................................

Love at first sight

The darkness lifted when you entered the room.

I witnessed your every move, slick and smooth.

My eyes wide, my mouth..dry.. my heart skipped

as you collected your thoughts and scanned the room.

I looked away all fingers and thumbs, stumbling to find

what to say, nervous, excited, my nipples erect.

My legs felt heavy, Needing to speak, nothing to say.

Your gorgeous blue eyes and your golden hair. You

must be an angel in disguise...

The music rocks silently, my ears pricked for your voice

You take your place, I watch your face, your concentrating

so hard, I look away not wanting to be seen, wanting

to be seen. Thundering, pounding like waves crashing

pulse racing, I'm in love. I am here and you are there

Time for tea, time to relax, lying upside down on my back.

Limbs all numb, pins and kneedles in my bum..

God I'm hot, you are there and I..am here, wanting to speak

full of fear, all fingers and thumbs.

I catch a glimpse of your eyes, bright and lush, I want

to kiss your mouth, hold you tight, make all this feel right.

Make love to you, lie next to you, feel the heat upon our flesh.

Embrace you, touch you, feel the heat between your legs.

Hold you for all eternity... time to go. I watch as you

collect your stuff, make for the door, I'm still stretched

flat out on the floor, muscles cramped, I wave goodbye, too

late you're gone. My heart sinks, as I return to my feet

the door swings open, you'd forgotten your coat, you smile

at me, my expression must have spoken a thousand words,

you say goodbye and I'm sold.

Can't sleep, can't eat I'm in love. Can't wait for next week.

Re-birthing..

Tomorrow is my ?? birthday and while I'm desperately trying to break this vicious circle I'm stuck in, I'm also thinking with the kind help of Nitebyrd, to be re born. To find a new and exciting direction..some where I've never been before, not even in a former life, and I do believe I've had those before. So tomorrow is the start of my re-birthing. A day to step forward and not look back. Sorry for a short story, I'm conserving my energy levels for the excitement to come, in whatever shape or form. This I think will awaken my senses, alert the woman in me, turn on the light and guide me down the road to happiness. I'm thinking it won't be an easy ride, but it's the destination I'm looking forward to, and I'm sure of the fact that when I get to this lavish place, I'll know my time on earth is just beginning. I have to stay positive, calm and cross my fingers. It's not going to be a smooth ride, but I have come prepared. Wish me luck...