Lucky Escape

For some considerable time now I've been feeling some what low! Not sure about how I've been feeling this way but I've come to the conclusion it's either an iron deficiency or the lack of hormones!! Either way I'm gettin on with dealing with it... HOW?? Alcohol!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm startin to get a liking for red wine. For years I didn't ever drink it, I'm hooked on it now... to the point of nearly every night I look forward to a drink with my dinner. Well tonight I'm well n truly trollied! Although I'm bordering on almost sober, due to the almost good typing.. without too many mistakes. Tonight however took a turn for the worst... not to go too much into detail, I've been very pissed. I'm startin to think I have a problem? Tonight I've drank almost a whole bottle of some nice red bird, er... bottle! I've had a good day at work although I'm hung over in love with several women... several? yeh! I like to keep my options open, not that they even know I even exist! I'm rambling now... SO why and what am I talking about. Too be totally honest I'm not really sure, like I said earlier I've kinda lost the reality on life just lately. Tonight I came so god damn close to getting a sharp implement and doing some major damage. I tried so fucking hard to control my destiny... I tried so fucking...........................................................! Yeah am back again, sorry, hey shit... no! I'm not apologising for no one, I gotta get through this my way... how? I have no idea, but I can't go back to my old ways, I can't.... I nearly did tonight but it was a lucky escape for sure.................................