Smile

Smile's come and go..
depending on our mood.
Today I'm feelin.. you
might say...rather low.
Today is the beginning
of a journey to regain
a smile I was born with
but over the years..I've
kind of been in denial!
First appointment at a
place where nightmares
live.. a comfy chair..
bright lights.. needles
everywhere. Dental pain
is some thing most of
us can bare.. for me
it's a white knuckle
ride.. I hate goin
there. The woman who
handles these fears
has been a wonder to
my nerves, she knows
how I feel when I shake
into he room.. my
heart races, my esteem
low. Today I had 5
needles to freeze
my mouth.. grindin
drillin, head vibratin
hands shakin, muffled
groans of waitin for
the one nerve to awake,
legs trembling.. eyes
squeezed shut...I'm
thawing out now, my
lips no more distorted.
Have eaten gentle
bites of soft food.
My stomach muscles
ache from 2 hours
of permanently
bein held....
My dentist is
very calming
has the words
to soothe my
pain.. you'd
think at 'my'
age I'd be OK!
Let me tell
you... I am not.
I have a new
filling, a
temporary crown.
My wallet is
now empty..
I still feelin
rather down!!
Money isn't
everything,
but for me
right now..
it's gone..
so my smile
I was was
born with,
for now..
is not quite
ready.. to be
shown. I have
more work to
be completed
with more £'s
to part with,
we used to be
an NHS dentist
but now they
are PRIVATE,
where £ signs
appear to
triple, my
worries of
how to pay..
but for now
I'm coming
to terms
of having
this almost
grin..tinglin
still goin
on ..on and
around my chin.

Naked Truth

OK this is how it is. I have been for the past eighteen years or so a Life model for art. Yes I take my clothes off for art. I get paid for standing-sitting-lying still for long periods of time. I don't have many pictures of me. I have modelled for a high school 6th form art class. I have modelled for an evening class for any one from amateur to very good. I do have a picture of one person who has painted me.. that takes pride of place on my wall. I'll show you one day... maybe! I have a good eye for art. I know what I like and have been to plenty of art exhibitions. I'm well known for sitting exactly still for so long, anybody else would give up. Cramp plays a large part in my job. Pulled muscles too, aches and pains. So why do I do it? I like my body, I'm proud of what I look like and I like to express my self through art. It all started back when friends of mine needed a new model and asked if I'd be interested? I was I have to admit intrigued.. so I agreed to do it. I was OK until standing there in front of about twelve complete strangers at which point they said 'OK take your dressing gown off!' It took quite a few minutes- but after that I was hooked. And people.. that is what I have been doing for the past eighteen years on and off. There was one place I used to pose for and until just recently, well with in the past twelve months I actually got money, well deserved money should I add. I don't work for nothing. So that is it. Next time your staring at a nude of a man or woman in some provocative pose with a stunning body, smile upon their face, just take a step back and look again at the stance.. think about not the picture put how long, how many hours they were in that position... try it next time you have half an hour, pick a pose and hold it perfectly still for 'half' an hour. Hard work I know you'll find. I love what I do, my new years calender is packed with offers of work. I shall be very busy. I meet lots of very interesting people along my way. Some art tutors have passed my name on to other art tutors. I am very popular. Iremember some years ago going to my first ever art exhibition, a lady there Anne, she had got a picture of me on her wall, I offered to buy it, she said I wouldn't be able to afford it, this put a huge smile on my face.

A big THANK YOU

Yesterday I paid in my sponsor money for the race for life charity for cancer research. A grand total and I'm proud to have raised £142.50 for the cause. I've had a rough week one way or another. I went to a friends funeral on Wednesday, he died of leukemia at the young age of 68yrs. Yesterday my boss at work told me he had just been diagnosed with throat cancer. So even though we cannot help people directly and make this awful disease go away, we can still raise much needed funds for the research into hopefully one day finding a cure for cancer.
So lets keep giving for these well worth causes and never forget the one's we've lost. Take care of the friends we still have, give them love and respect and treat them as you would like to be treated. We may not be on this planet for ever so come on people lets get ready to party, as life's for living.

We did it

Here is the evidence to prove that myself and a friend took part in the Race for Life race on Saturday 10th May. The day was very hot, very sunny, great fun and a day to remember. I am
so proud to have taken part. I have managed to raise £137.00 for cancer research. I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who sponsored me. THANK YOU. As you can see from the photo, I was wearing a pink t-shirt and blue shorts. My number was 519. Yes folks... this is ME!!