Retract

Pull away your feeling from my heart
like steel magnolias lost in bloom.
Scent but a whisper away, lost and
confused. Sniff... place directly
beneath your nostril, inhale this
waste. Bring fourth this vile
taste.. vomit... choke.. don't laugh
it is not a joke. I hate the way
I'm feeling, this dark n confused
picture.. I am not and have never
been amused. Do I make myself
clear. Stand still when I am
talking to you. Stop swaying.
How many drinks have you sunk?
I despise you, take hold of
yourself.. thy retched child.
And into the darkness of
night like a lost sacrificial
lamb you wondered off into
the fog.. I held out my heart,
and you...were ..........gone.
This pain I feel is like
nothing I have felt before.
I am dead without your love,
come re-open my door, return.
Throw wide your grasp, kiss
and with untold abundance..
I will never fall ill of you.
Come.... hold, entrust..

Time

Mmmmmmmmmmm........
touch me in the dark
let me feel your
pulse.. race, run,
my fingers through
your hair, trace..
place my fingers...
lips apart..tongue
lace..your heart
around..grip tight.
Fumble, fabric..rip.
Sit..lie down, arms
wrapped around
your waist..pull
zipper, with added
hast..ripper.
Digits fight,
clumsy, crack
knuckles..eyes
wide shut..
flesh in abundance
sweat, perspiration
tickles..trickle.
Suck .. fumble tongue
lick..slide..legs
wide...swollen
clit.. pubic
jungle..aroma
excite, turn
close the door
turn off the
light. Shuffle,
fumble..rub..
Mmmmmmmm..
sexual delight.

H*A*P*P*Y ~ C*H*R*I*S*T*M*A*S

TO YOU ALL


XOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

L O V E

For all that we have,
for all that we love
for all that we have
and always will, love.
For you and for me,
for her and for him,
for the old and for
the young, will all
and yes..Carols sung.
For the memories we
hold, for the one's
we have lost, we
shall and forever
never forget. For
all that this
world brings,
for all that god
delivers I will
will my everything
love you. For all
that I have
I now give to you
with all of my
yesterdays...
I offer you all
your tomorrows.

Day of Truth

Give me strength for all
that I am going through.
For every Tom Dick n Harry
who have said 'don't panic
it'll be alright.'You try
it from my side of there..
you see if I don't give
a fuck, I don't actually
care' !!!!!!!!!!
When some one comes along
from his centrally heated
posh office some where
up with the gods... you
want to reach out and
scream, scratch their
fuckin eyes out. They
produce these letters,
'sorry for the upset!'
Yeah for sure.. and then
some, well to cut a long
story short, today was
the day we found out
who gets what, a pat
on the back... listen
for the spilt tears,
the no turning back.
I was first in, sticky
eye as well, ointment's
kinda workin.. shitty
sore and so blurd!!
I had me some back up,
I took this nice young
man in with me, from
the Prison union..
just for a chat, listen
try to take it all in,
hopefully to work
things out. I went in
first with an open mind
thinkin it was totally
out of my hand. Today
I dealt a good hand,
today I almost cried,
not because I lost
my job but because
I actually survived.
I couldn't believe
what they were tellin
me.. I asked them twice
to repeat what they'd
said, they smiled, I
smiled too.. I'm
happy as Larry, I
shook their hands
still fightin back
the tears.. today
banished all my
fears. I will
continue my lovely
job, and stay
where I am.
My Christmas
has come early,
I'm so fricken
GLAD !!! ;)

Indi over n out.

WTF ?

A couple of weeks ago when the British weather people announced we were to get some white stuff IE: snow, we all thought 'yeah right!' But over night the clouds did puke
a shit load of snow upon our frozen shitty ground. Anyway I was told once that should you ever take a photo and see..witness a strange vision through or over it, that wasn't there when your finger hit the button, this one was taken on the way to work one frozen morning, it wasn't snowing, it certainly wasn't raining and no way was there any flying bugs around. I can't explain what came out on this photo taken with my mobile phone... for those of you i the USA 'cell' phones. But like I said earlier, apparently this white slice of colour/light is a that of a Phantom. Ghost...
I do actually believe in this phenomena. I have taken other photos in the dark and with the same evidence, unexplained evidence... I'm not in the slightest bit bothered or scared... if anything I'm intrigued.. interested... marvelled..
So there you have it, snow .... infested with Alien life? Ghosts.... Boo ! ;)))))

Guardian Angel

Guardian angel,
come show me
your face.. I
found this
white feather
on Monday..so
I thought..
time for some
good luck!!
I believe in
this stuff,
so I bent
down and
picked it
up. I told
a few folk
who took it
as a joke..
figures, as
they lead
such boring
mundane lives.
I decided to
try, so it
didn't sound
like a lie.
I stood in
a room, turned
off the light,
closed my eyes
with my arms
stretched out.
Feather in my
right hand.
I command you
to show your
face.. I chanted
in the dark,
thank god no
one could see
what I was doin,
they might think
I've gone mad!!
Do I care? I've
found a new
friend..my white
feather is an
Angel in disguise.
As I opened my
eyes just ever
so slight, I
witnessed a
bright shinin
light. So you
see I was right
to believe, as
I was answered
there n then
in the dark.
I carry my
white feather
close by in
my trouser
pocket..just
in case I find
myself in need.
I think it's
my friend, her
daughter whom
I visited last
weekend! Don't
worry Nattie,
she's doin just
fine..you rest
my beautiful
Angel, I miss
you so much..
but I now have
your white
feather.. so
I can stay in
touch.

Out of my Control

OK so this isn't my usual kind
of writing.. I'm going through
some uncertainty right now.
I'm sailing quite easily into
my seventh week of no fags..
The shit I'm experiencing at
the moment is really testing
my nerves. The words we all
get agitated with are the
one's that I heard some new
managerial prick, younger
than me,only been in the
job since last month.. they
want to get to know us.. my
line manager has worked in
our dept for roughly 12
months or so give or take.
I've given three & half
years of hard graft. He's
taken it, expected my
all, and now the fuckin
government want to take
my all... includin
possibly my fuckin
lively hood...JOB!!
So as you can probably
imagine my first
thought would be..
'I need a fag' calm
my nerves. I went out
for lunch to see a
friend who is the
daughter of my best
friend who lost her
brave but quick
fight against
Ovarian cancer
three years ago.
We went outside
for logs.. she
immediately lit up
a cigarette. I
was proper pleased
with my utter control
in this my first
test as to whether
or not I crumble
and ask for a drag
of this white
burnin fag.
I didn't even want
a drag... good eh?
My plan was to
give up before my
50th birthday.. in
10 weeks time..
yeah February is
less than 10 weeks
away... run and
hide. Can you
think of places I
fit in (I'm 6'tall)
I just wanna bury
my head in the sand,
need some one to
reassure..hold
my hand. I have
come to realise
I have to gather
up all my inner
strength, ride
this traumatic
time with as little
stress as possible.
I don't want to lose
any sleep over it.
I've lived on pain
killers for days..
Sleep is good..wine
not so good. I need
to get through
this. Should I
get to the end
of the tunnel..
so to speak and
the bus has already
left, I'll hang
around for a while,
some thing else
is bound to come
along...right?
So there you have
it, my ability to
say NO to long
white sticks..
so far so good.

Verse

Ticklishly zingy feelings
that trickle recklessly
from toe to knees to head.
As you lie beside me,our
skin ripples, breath inhaled
excitement suspended, orgasm
spent. Eye lids flicker, tears
form, blink then trickle..
sticky warm wet sensations,
legs squeezed roughly,
knees bang, ankles click,
aching limbs with continuous
twitch.. heart beats..beat.
Love illuminates the air,
poison me with your kiss,
dare me to commit this
unlawful sin.. open
your arms, surrender,
let this love story..
begin. Chapter one..
and then she.......
kissed me with the
strength of a thousand
armies dancing on the
very edge of my
existence.. oasis.

''Fucked.........''

I'm in Limbo, not knowing.
Yesterday it came from out
of now where.. Yes I got a
job, but for how long I
don't know. Christmas
will be fun, by January
I might be well n truly
hung!! My job is on the
line.. so how do I feel?
Good question, after
several large glasses
of red wine... I'm
surprised I can still
type, let alone see
the keyboard.... hick!
I can only hang on and
see what the new year
will bring. I want to
stay optimistic.. but
daren't hold my breath.
I now the economic climate
is basically 'FUCKED!' And
by all accounts... me too!!
I am a worker, not a
shirker, spelling I've
given up, ya remember?
My future's totally
FUCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!
Uncertainty isn't
good for the soul,
I know I'm down in
the fuckin dumps, but
this red stuffs keepin
me on the up n up...
Coconut ice any one?
I've really lost the
plot now, slurp!!nod!
Smile.. blurred..
vision, WHAT??
So next time some
one asks how I am..
I might burst into
hysterical laughter
just in case... but
inside I'm feeling
empty. Don't get me
wrong I love
my job..cleanin the
shit of toilet
seats is really
quite rewarding.
Now it's my turn to
be 'shat' upon..
I have to laugh,
cuz if I don't I
mite just cry....
So for all these
years I've given
my all... this is
the thanks I get..
Bummer... I want
to go home...........!

Turn off the light

Christmas...
just around
the corner.
Gifts to
buy, graves
stood by.
Lost souls
remembered.
Cheery sigh.
Friends who
give, with
thankfulness.
Time for
fine wines
and food, to
fair. But
while you
sit n eat,
hungry dogs
lie sleeping
at your feet.
Turkey's
cooked,
nut cracker
suite...
just give a
thought of
what life
would feel
like, street
wise, sleepin
crumpled in
a cardboard
box. Door
ways, gates,
frozen face.
Who've lost
their faith
with solemn
grace...
Don't lose
sight of
these people's
plight...
tucked up in
your bed, shut
out the cold
at night...
No fixed abode,
no family to
love..could
you deal with
any of the
above? Christ-
mas is coming
the goose is
gettin fat,
please put a
penny in the
old mans hat.
If you haven't
got a penny,
a half penny
will do..if
you haven't
got a half
penny....
then 'God
bless you.'
Celebrate
by all means,
raise you
glass for good
cheer.. give
generously
to the man,
woman or child.
Turn off the
lights, shut
out the cold.
Will that
damp wet box
keep him/her
warm tonight?

Forbidden flesh

With delicate ease,
peel away the outta
layer, ripple..lick
suck each tender soft
tit. Encourage this
forbidden flesh, reach
down with subtle
tenderness. Roll
with accuracy..brush
away the hair, simply
caress these luscious
plump breasts..Mmmmm
Trace the softness
of lace... pluck
beneath.. inhale,
quick with impatience.
Tickle, gentle and
with care.. soft
warm pubic hair.
The barriers are
down.. intoxicate.
Fumble at your
leisure..come
play with me,
let me be your
pleasure......