Hope

Tonight I met with my lady of the past seven months. We drank, I got drunk rapidly, spilt my heart out to her. Apparently what I said to her regarding our break up had actually made sense to her and she admitted I was right in what I had spoken to her. That kind of made me feel good, but in another way I felt bad. I am still very much in love with her, and told her so tonight. I am very much under the influence of alcohol and very much worried of my future regarding a follow up appointment at the hospital regarding my eye sight tests I had done last week. I have an emergency appointment this Wednesday at 9.30 and have to admit I am bricking it, shit, fucking scared as to what they will have to tell me! As in any situation we automatically think the worst!! I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we kissed deeply and passionately tonight, the fire that was, is still there I think, but, and there's always a BUT!! She isn't sure, but the fact that we kissed, with tongues, our hands clenching the parts that we once had fire for, thighs, breasts .. mouths... God I so missed having her around these past few days. which feel like months to me. So every one who was concerned with my welfare, and thank you for caring, it's hit a spot in my heart that will always feel needed. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Regarding Wednesday and the hospital...... I will keep you all informed.