For those of you out there in this big ugly world. Have ever taken the wrong turning? I fell in love.. or though I thought, five years ago. When I first started work where I am now. She was and still is gorgeous, flirtatious, sexy, 100% woman. Over the past few years, we've exchanged friendly womanly banter... until recently! Being the ... " I give everything away " kind of idiot. " Fall in love at the drop of a hat " woman." Lower my barriers at the first sign of what I think is affection." Any of this ring out to any of your women out there or is it just silly 'ol me?
It all started a week prior to Easter week. I was feeling better after my last encounter with fate. To cut a long story short.... I'd decided without a doubt that she was the one for me. I'd had plenty of time to say something to her, but my nerves always got the better of me, so I held back... for a change. You see I am learning... slowly... but surely.... to take each step at a time, never learn to run before you can walk!! OR though I thought!
She said to me... before she left for her few days off... "don't forget my Easter Egg!" So I went and bought her an Easter Egg AND a cute Easter chic. I chose my time when to give them to her, wanting her on my own. Not wanting an audience, to embarrass me for. I lured her into a room. Said I'd got her some thing and produced this egg into her clasp, then the chic followed. I was nervous to say the least, but laughing... along with her out burst of nervous giggles, I managed to survive. She went and ruined it when she said I'd embarrassed her! That was not my intention. My heart sank. I tried to hide my disappointment. She leaned forward to hug me... twice. There was a lot of smiling. To top it all, she said I shouldn't waste my money on her. I wanted to add to that , that she was worth every penny! We left the room , I locked the door and that was that. Until....................... the next day when several people who I know as work associates, mentioned the Easter egg episode to me... I blushed, but managed to hide my embarrassment.. with more silly girlish giggles.
What had I done? Well from any heterosexual's point of view I'd given her this chocolate present with chic. Nothing more, nothing less. But to me, I thought I'd crossed a huge obstacle, in some way of showing my untold affection for her, after so many years of just being this joke in the back ground! Now I get the impression she's trying to avoid me. I also found out that she is not into me, and never will be. But ... she was flirting with me, in a way that any man should she have flirted with them , would by now be thinking the same thing as I, she's interested in them!
How wrong was I? I feel totally deflated. I'm .. not only the butt of every one who's heard of the stupid egg, joke. My body language from now on will be turned down very low. As for hers... she obviously doesn't know where her on .. off switch is.
My self esteem is at an all time low. I think she's trying to avoid me now, which is slightly difficult in the place where we both work. I shall think twice next time some one flirts with me, or shows any genuine signs of affection! End of!!