Wednesday 18 June 2008

Farewell

After my last blog, I've had time to realise that I'm ready for a large bonfire. I've got to soon or later and maybe I should have a long time ago, got rid of a load of emotional shit. I'm not tired and I haven't been drinking, unlike last Friday when it all came flooding to the surface! Whilst I was at work today, a few work friends asked was every thing alright with me? as I'm usually bright n cheerful n telling jokes. Some times I like to have a quiet day, time to reflect on what I really want out of life, at work and at home. I've had all day to figure it all out. You might agree or disagree with that but I'm ready. I won't be told how to deal with my life, and I'm pretty sure some folk only have my interests at heart, some.... those I work with just want some juicy gossip, they ... I do not class as true friends! Anyway when I tried to explain my healing process that I had the wonderful opportunity of receiving a few weeks ago, as soon as I opened my mouth, I just knew .... I was waisting my time trying to explain why I was being quiet. Things like 'healing' and ' grounding' are not the terminology that these 'Vanilla' folk would understand, let alone figure out. It'd be like me listening to some body talk Chinese... a complete and utter waist of time, WHY?? because I don't do 'Chinese' that's why! Right so that is my decision. I shall prepare an area of ground tomorrow night and pour some flammable liquid over the area, just to make sure that the evidence is completely destroyed. I won't shed any tears, I shall raise a glass to the future and make a wish, that I find new happiness. But like I said in my Friday night blog, I'm not in any immediate rush, it will happen when the time is right.

7 comments:

Clay Perry said...

it doesnt matter what you do with baggage it never leaves you until something better comes along

Deech said...

I am glad you are writing about this here. I am reading (listening).

Flyinfox_SATX

Indi said...

clay perry~ I'd best get looking then! And thankyou

Indi said...

flyinfox_satx thankyou for reading... for listening

Clay Perry said...

"better" is a relative term, relative to you only... it could be as simple as a new hobby, a new person, a good book/movie series... when it gets to be too much, just take one evening a week & force yourself to try something new... karate, a new place to eat, a different type of book, head off in a totally different direction & you will see that it starts to keep you alert & feeling "new" - i have enjoyed reading your blog & have linked it from mine, i hope you dont mind...

Indi said...

clay perry~ I am honoured that you have linked my blog to yours. I will take hold of what you have said, I'm guessing it's a long process? But I Will try, and thank you for your advice, much appreciated

Clay Perry said...

the length of it depends on you, take say weds. & fri. of a couple of weeks & go somewhere you just simply would never go, a different kind of place to eat or bar or library... set a minimum time limit for it, in case it drives you mad & give it a try, i loved to sculpt & saw a guy on the do it yourself network carving wood spirits, i thought, that looks interesting & have been doing it for a while now, you never know what direction it could lead your life, you arent restricted by anything but your own psyche... there's alot to be said for multiple personalities... pick a few & have fun.. why not?