Thursday, 19 June 2008
On the road to recovery
Tonight I had a sort out and I lit a bonfire, I thought I'd feel sad, angry, empty. I didn't feel anything., or if I did, I was hiding it well. It was the end of an era. Maybe it was the wine that I drank in vast gulps, maybe because I'd prepared myself for this event, I had accepted the inevitable. I have had a good clear out, it's amazing, us as human beings, just how much stuff we actually keep. I do however wish to apologise to some one for being ... possibly a bitch for any thing I've said, maybe they've taken it out of term, I don't know. But this for once is about me and how I've felt over the past god knows how many months. I'm looking toward the future, whatever that might bring, I know for sure that next time, if there is a 'next time' that I will not fall so fuckin head over in heals in love. I have to stay focused and take my time to channel my new energy's. Look after 'me' sod any body else. If I can't channel my energy's for me, then I have no hope for anybody else!! All my life I've been there for people, given my all, my best, my 100%. NOW I have to start taking care of 'myself.' I may not find new love, just loving myself is the number one priority right now.. and I'm not sure that's going to be easy.... but I will give it my 110%.