Control

I've locked the door,
Turned out the light.
My world has been
turned upside down.
I got in a fight.
He knocked me down
from behind, my tears
stung as I thought I
was going blind.
I did my best. I
kept my nerve, but
he was too strong.
I felt some pain
again and again.
The taste of blood
flooded my mouth.
Coloured rainbows
stabbed my brain.
I felt something
sharp cutting
at my throat. I tried
and tried to escape.
This happened so
quick I felt
urge to be sick.
I never thought
this would happen
to me. I hit him
hard, he felt the
blow as he stumbled
he momentarily let
go. I held my breath
my heart pounding
in my chest. I ran
And I ran all the
way home. As I
sit here behind
my door I can feel
my whole body
Shake. I dare
not move. I dare
not speak, my
clothes are dirty
and torn......
I feel so weak.
I was afraid.
I let myself go,
I can smell the
pungent scent
of piss. I lost
my nerve..I
thought I'd lost
all my tomorrows.

Whitby

This is where we are.... Whitby North Yorkshire

Meditation

Long ago my soul was torn, Today it was restored.. Plenty hugs, smiles and Pure relief as we met Once more.... Eight years passed Pain of living in the Past... Time to move On.... And so on, here We are again... I knocked on her door With anticipation in My heart... Nervous Makes tremble in My voice.... I do not know why I was worried of My arrival, cup Of tea... Some thing To eat...3 hours Went way too fast. Laughter n tears After all our years. Our friendship Is now back on track.

Inner strength

I see this is how my mum views
the world around her.
Tears well when I see her cry, arms wrapped around
Her like rose petals before the rose curls up and dies.
Take hold my hand dear mother, I am here for you, I will
Not let anything hurt you... I whisper in her ear.....
I love you.

Dementia

This isn't my mum.
one minute she's
fine the next she's
not.
Memory loss is
what the doctor
called it.
BOLLOX!!
Dementia is
what it is, it
isn't nice and
it will get
much worse.
Today she
was good, nice
happy ish
polite..my mum.
Phone went
around half 7,
my dad's voice,
my thoughts
raced to panic
in milliseconds,
my mum's gone
a.w.o.l again.
She didn't eat
her dinner
and didn't have
a drink..when
I asked her why
she said she didn't
want to, it isn't her,
she's got aliens in
her memory pad.
My dad's 81 this year.
He's takin the brunt
of her anger, last
night we had tears.
He tried to show
his affection by
planting a kiss on
her lips, she pulled
away.. not once
but twice... this is
going to get ugly,
she may get violent.
Who knows what's
going on inside
her head! I have
to stay strong..
not sure about
that.. my dad
will need me to
be a brick for him.
god help this
rocky road we're
about to ride
a long.......
my mum's
mum had this
ugly thing
called
Dementia..
she's died
aged
99.

R.I.P Gem

 On December 17th around 7pm our baby girl Gem all of six months old, managed to escape our garden, get onto the country lane and ..... well we found her limp body only a few yards from our drive way.  I called the police as it is a criminal offence if to run a dog over but not to report it. We came to the understanding that the driver of the vehicle was either coming from the pub, late for the pub or just going to fast. The police sent out a patrol car the next day but they didn't hold out any hope of anyone coming forward. I can only assume their is a person out their some where with a battered front bumper and not a conscience to be seen any where. We have buried our baby girl next to Megan who died earlier this year due to cancer. We are very sad and Holly our remaining black Labrador doggy is missing her mate.